THINGS YOU CAN'T DO AS A BROKE PERSON

in Comedy Open Mic11 months ago

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The most important commodity in society is money.
Also known as cash, paper, dough, moolah.

Money is necessary to run the world and for us to survive in society.

but there comes a time in the lives of everyone where this money just isn't present.

okay maybe not everyone (definitely not bill gates children)

But majority of people experience this state once in a while: where pockets are dry and wallets are dusty.
This state is referred to as being "broke".

Being broke is what people would call "an unfavorable condition."
No one wants to be broke, but unfortunately, it happens to a lot of us.

And apart from the normal day implications like not eating 3 square meals a day and thinking about your life.

There are certain limitations that are inflicted upon you.
There are some special things you can't do or say or even call yourself.
And those things are what we're going to be talking about today.

If you're broke right now, then welcome to my TED talk.
And I hope you don't stay broke for long
cuz that shi hurts

Time for the breakdown.

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THINGS BROKE ASS PEOPLE CAN'T DO

~BE A FOODIE

The first thing you can't do if you're broke is to be a foodie.

Where is the food?

A foodie is defined as someone who has a passionate interest in food and eats not out of hunger, but as a hobby.

Just looking at this definition, there are many issues that you can see.
First of all, the only reason why a broke person will be passionate about food is to not die.

Secondly,
A person that hasn't seen food to eat normally, would eat as a hobby??

That's like being in prison but taking walks in the garden is your hobby.

~DESTROY THINGS IN ANGER

When your account balance is looking like a radio station, lemme see where you'll summon confidence from to destroy anything.

You're watching football and your team loses and you wanna smash your television?

You're gonna be watching the sunrise and sunset for entertainment if you try that as a broke person.

All those movies you see if people breaking expensive looking stuff when they're angry,
They're fake o

Those things are props.
Don't go and copy actors and plunge yourself into debt.

If you get angry, you'd better drink water and take deep breaths, cuz as a broke person.
That's the only thing you can afford to do.

~GO HIKING

Picture this,
you just woke up and you take a deep breath of air...
That was your breakfast for the day.

You start to plan lunch and think about your life, think about how you can finally start to make money
Maybe you'll finally give in and try affiliate marketing.
It can't be that bad can it?

All these thoughts on your head and no food in your belly.

Then your friend comes in and says you guys should go hiking.

Be honest,
what would be your response?

If you go hiking right now,
won't you die on the road?

Only people who have eaten and have peace of mind should be walking around without a purpose.

~LOOK FRESH

"You're broke and you're looking this good?"

"How can you say you don't have money, look at how fresh you are."

"Stop lying, you have money."

These are just some of the things that you might've heard people say when you're broke.

Apparently when you are broke, you're not supposed to look like a functioning human being.

You dare not look fresh if you're broke.
When you don't have money, people want to see it on your face.
They want you to look like a suffering hobo or else they won't ever believe you need help.

~BE ONLINE

So you're broke, but you're still online posting memes.
How?

"If you're broke, Where did you see the data from?"
"Was it spending money on data that made you broke."

Another set of questions people will ask you if you tell them you're broke.

So because I'm broke, I should die of depression?

Memes are the food of broke people.
Also food is the actual food of broke people.
I need food.

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CONCLUSION

So, my fellow brokies,
Do not worry,
You'll soon start eating 3 square meals once again.
But for now,
Go and eat whatever you can so that you won't die.
When there's life there's hope.

A broke situation is not permanent,
but a broke mind is forever.

omo
I'm already saying nonsense,
lemme go and eat think about my life.

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus.

Sort:  

Hiking is not for a broke person, someone without money can not go hiking, once the clock shows it's morning, a broke person will think of what to do and earn money.
Some people look fresh even when they do not have money, because they like looking neat.

Hiking is not for a broke person, someone without money can not go hiking, once the clock shows it's morning, a broke person will think of what to do and earn money.

Broooo
You won't wait for alarm to wake you
Na you go wake by yourself start to dey think about your life

This one follow for the matter, base on how you think about you it, you couldn't wait for the alarm clock to do is work.😂

These are nothing but truths. Whenever am broke, people can't believe me. All I will hear is, if you're broke, you can't look this fresh. And others will say: A person who is always online tells us she's broke. See you!!.

My dear, whenever am broke, I do respect myself ooo. A hungry man is an angry man. Lolz

These are nothing but truths. Whenever am broke, people can't believe me. All I will hear is, if you're broke, you can't look this fresh. And others will say: A person who is always online tells us she's broke. See you!!.

Aswear
It's until someone looks like they're on the verge of death before they believe.
Make God continue to dey hide our shame sha

My dear, whenever am broke, I do respect myself ooo. A hungry man is an angry man. Lolz

Na why Nigerians dey quick vex

So, my fellow brokies

Did you just add yourself to the broke people list? I hope not!

Funds are low...
Man must not lie to himself