Brentwick's cluelessness reaches a new high...
Nerd By Northwest #263 – “A Familiar Snack”
(Click on the image to see the full-size version)
So the dim-witted squire/henchman ends up killing, cooking, and eating a powerful wizard's familiar. What does said wizard do to the hapless squire? Does he:
a) find it in his heart to forgive the poor schmuck;
b) cast "polymorph" to (paraphrasing Samwise) "turn him into something.... unnatural"
c) cast "feeblemind" on Brentwick (only to find out it doesn't end up making a big difference);
d) cast "flesh to stone" on Brentwick and take the statue home to be used as a perch for his next bird familiar; or
e) cast "dominate person" and spend the next hour making Brentwick repeatedly punch himself in the face & groin.
Naturally, exceptionally twisted audience suggestions are not only welcome... they are encouraged!!! 😈
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OK, I laughed way harder at this than I probably should have. Thanks so much! :)
To borrow from Jeff Foxworthy... "If you laugh at jokes involving wizard familiars, you MIGHT be a gaming nerd..." 😁
Oh, trust me...as someone who has been playing D&D for 3/4ths of his life, I fully embrace my status as a gaming nerd. At least it no longer gets me wedgies and ostracism in school. ;)
AAAHAHAHAHA. That's brilliant.
Just wait. It gets worse.... 😉
C
That, or polymorphs him into a parrot and demands he serve as a replacement familiar.
I like how you think...
Well, I am a DM...