Hello, my friends.
We must always support our children, even when we don't like what they decide to do. This is a very difficult part, but I believe it's vital for the development of their personality and their growth and maturity.
I've found that when I show my son that he can count on me, no matter the situation, we strengthen our bond of trust in a profound way. He knows that my support isn't conditional, that it doesn't depend on his choices aligning with mine. That security is the foundation from which he dares to explore the world.
For example, if my child wants to play soccer, learn martial arts, or any other contact sport, even if I don't like it or fear they might get hurt, I should support them. My instinct is to protect them, but I understand that they made that decision for themselves. My job isn't to coddle them, but to trust their judgment and allow them to face challenges. Preventing them because of my fear would hinder their development.
My method is to be clear. I tell him, "I don't like your decision" or "I'm not comfortable with this." Then I calmly explain my reasons, outlining the risks I see. But I always end the conversation with the same phrase: "Anyway, I support you, and you can count on me for anything." That's the crucial part. He needs to hear it.
And if it turns out I was right, if things go wrong, my role isn't to say, "I told you so." That would only destroy the trust we worked so hard to build. My duty is to help him recover, learn from his mistakes, and move forward without feeling judged.
Ultimately, the most important thing is that I must learn to trust him. I must trust that the upbringing I've given him will help him make good decisions, and that when he doesn't, he'll be resilient enough to overcome them. Supporting him isn't controlling him. Supporting him is being by his side while he learns to fly on his own, even if I'm afraid of heights.
En español
Hola, amigos míos.
Tenemos que apoyar siempre a nuestros hijos, incluso cuando no nos gusta lo que deciden hacer. Es muy difícil esta parte, pero creo que es vital para la confirmación de su personalidad y de su crecimiento y madurez.
He comprobado que cuando le muestro a mi hijo que puede contar conmigo, sin importar la situación, fortalecemos nuestros lazos de confianza de una manera profunda. Él sabe que mi apoyo no es condicional, que no depende de que sus elecciones coincidan con las mías. Esa seguridad es la base desde la que se atreve a explorar el mundo.
Por ejemplo, si mi hijo quiere jugar fútbol, aprender artes marciales o cualquier otro deporte de contacto, aunque no me guste o tema que se haga daño, debo apoyarlo. Mi instinto es protegerlo, pero entiendo que él tomó esa decisión por sí mismo. Mi trabajo no es envolverlo en algodón, sino confiar en su criterio y permitir que enfrente desafíos. Impedírselo por mi miedo sería frenar su desarrollo.
Mi método es ser clara. Le digo: "Tu decisión no me gusta" o "No estoy cómoda con esto". Luego le explico mis argumentos con calma, le expongo los riesgos que yo veo. Pero siempre termino la conversación con la misma frase: "De todos modos, te apoyo y puedes contar conmigo para lo que sea". Esa es la parte crucial. Él necesita oírlo.
Y si al final resulta que tuve razón, si las cosas salen mal, mi papel no es decir "Te lo dije". Eso solo destruiría la confianza que tanto nos costó construir. Mi deber es ayudarlo a recomponerse, a aprender del error y a seguir adelante sin sentirse juzgado.
En el fondo, lo más importante es que yo debo aprender a confiar en él. Debo confiar en que la educación que le he dado le servirá para tomar buenas decisiones, y en que, cuando no lo sean, será lo suficientemente resiliente para sobreponerse. Apoyar no es controlar. Apoyar es estar a su lado mientras él aprende a volar con sus propias alas, aunque a mí me dé miedo la altura.
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