It's good to read your words. I think I've said it before but I so appreciate and admire your honesty and bravery with all you share in your posts. (And your photos of the Netherlands!)
I hope learning how to reduce Gigi's stress will also reduce yours. You two can learn together, from each other.
I don't know what I want in life, I don't know what is my goal, what I wanna achieve.
To me it sounds like you have very clear goals that you are working on, finding stability and healing, training Gigi. In my experience taking the time to heal is one of the things I am most proud of.
Iceland trip sounds fun! Iceland is on my bucket list.
It takes a lot of courage, before writing anything publicly, I think twice because I have a kind of judgemental thought: "What people will think about me?". I cannot ignore or avoid this thought or cannot create a damn care attitude...
Gigi was always my priority and no matter how I feel, I never stop taking care of her. Because I know she doesn't have anyone other than me, I am the only one who is for her... Besides, this whole atmosphere caused damage to Gigi's health as well. She is a stressed dog and the whole day she spend in a confined room. It's like a cage for her...
In my opinion, it is a worthy country to explore...
It is scary! I know that feeling, too. But there are so many people out there with trauma and discombobulated mental health that can see themselves in what you write and not only feel like they are not alone, but feel hopeful.
Pilot sends flirts to Gigi! He says he'd be happy to chase her in the park. He loves to growl and chase the big dogs.