Earlier today, I suddenly found myself wondering why we have only one child — and I think I finally came up with a good answer after some years.
For the first few years after my daughter was born, I often thought it might be nice to have another. From her perspective, having a sibling to play with could be fun. But at the same time, I always wondered "I’m probably not particularly gifted at parenting." Once I actually started raising my daughter, I discovered there were many things I enjoyed and was good at — like growing plants together, cooking meals, and sewing her clothes — but also quite a few things I struggled with. I was nothing like the “perfect moms” I saw in the media 😅 So I decided to focus on caring for the one precious daughter who came into our lives. It was my interpretation why we have single child.
Looking back now, I think my daughter and I simply get along quite well, and maybe that’s why I feel content with just one. I’ve never had the wish for “a boy next” or “a child with a different personality or look.” It just feels like the right one came to us. It doesn't mean I deny others have more than one ore none. Just I found an interpretation for my case.
Of course, I still get frustrated sometimes — like when flour explodes all over the kitchen 😆 But as she grows older, we’ve started to share more of the same interests, which makes our time together even more fun.
Maybe there are less than ten years left before she leaves the nest. I just want to enjoy this time with her as much as I can.
さっきふと、なんでうちは一人っ子なんだろうと考えて、いい答えが思いつきました。
子供が生まれて数年は、もう一人いた方がいいかなと思って、実際、子供からしたらもう一人いたら遊び相手がいて楽しいかもしれません。でも一方で、子供がいたらいいなと思いつつ、子育てそんなに多分得意じゃないしなという思いがあったのも事実です。子供を育て始めてみたら、植物を育てたり、ご飯をあげたり、洋服を縫ったり得意で楽しめることもあるものの、苦手なこともやっぱり多い・・・メディアに出てくるお母さんとは程遠かったです 😅 だから一人うちに生まれた子供を大事に育てようと思っていました。
でも、改めて考えてみると、子供と私は結構相性がよい方で、一人目で満足しているのかもしれません。もう一人男の子がほしいとか、もっと違った性格や見た目の子供がほしいとか、そういう思いはまったくなくて、一番いい感じの子が来てくれてよかったなという感じなのだと思います。もちろんたくさんお子さんがいる人、いない人を否定するわけではなくて、私の状況の私の解釈としてこれが結論かなと思ったのです。
まあ、そんな風に思った後でも、台所で小麦粉を盛大にこぼされてイラッとしたりはしますけどね。大きくなって共通の好みの遊びが増えてきたのも楽しいです。こんな時間も彼女が巣立つまであと10年もなかったりするのかな。できるだけ楽しい時間を一緒に過ごしたいです。
Such a wonderful story. I also have one child and I don’t know if I want another one. My son is already 12 years old.
Great that you have been mama for 12 years! 😊
Talking from a non parent pov, and looking from a practical side, I think it's good to have another child as a backup but I know thats a rather cruel way to look at things😅
But seriously, I always think a single child may be tough because they have no one to share things with, eg things that they may not want to share with their parents, and when they grow older, they have sole responsibility of looking after their parents.
😂
Some idiot did call himself the Spare 🥱
😇 Ja and also it might be nice for her that she can share German-Japanese things or dilemma which she cannot easily share with different nationalities.
As it is ... let's see ;)
how creative hehe, it's incredible
I can relate because I also have only one son. When he was 5 years old, I really wanted him to have a sibling so he would have someone to play with, but it just didn’t happen. Now, I’m happy spending time with my nieces and nephews. I just think that even though my son is an only child, he still has cousins to be with. And just like you, I also find joy and comfort in planting, you truly inspired me.
Nice your son has cousins around. I think actually the hole family and society can be a kind of family :) I try to welcome my daughter's friends when they visits her.
Yes, they are very close. My son and his cousins always have fun when they’re together. It’s beautiful to see the family getting along as the children grow up.
I can relate so much! Having one child lets us give our full love and attention. Every moment together feels special.
Sometimes I need a lot of energy to accompany her (she has so much energy!) but I'm sure I look back this time with her a good old time in the future 😊