My children are the fulfilment of God's goodness and faithfulness.
Just a couple of days back one of my Facebook memories showed a post I wrote. It was my heart's secret; I wrote of how much I was already missing my children (LOL) even before meeting them, and that was many years before I even got married. I suppose it's alright to share this here, I have actually 'met' or 'seen' my children way before they arrived into this world to join us. In the vision, they were standing beside Jesus. I've never seen their faces, it was always their backs. I guess that's the part where God retains His mystery, a way to keep some surprise for us too. But yes, I secretly knew they were a girl and two boys.
And now, in this moment, they are here. Finally here.
Believe me when I say in many ways and situations, things may not have played out the way I had hope it would be, but as I look back not only were they needed, more often than not they ended even better than I could ever ask for or imagine!
Some days I am beside myself in fear thinking about what the future holds for us as a family and as individuals, especially so with our wee ones. When life hits you in the face and waves after waves of unforeseen circumstances come at you from every side what do you do?
Cliché as it sound but always the best policy- look to God.
Find His hands and His heart.
Search for His lovers, because He will always send reminders of His goodness.
Recall the promises He's made with you and remind yourself of their fulfilment, whether they have already come to pass or still ongoing.
Give thanks, give thanks and give thanks.
All this are what I would need to deliberately tell myself to choose, because let's be honest, it's easy to just live life que sera sera and blame the world around us. I want to have a say on how I live my life, and I do have a say on how my life turns out.
One of the things I will fight for is my heart. And that means having a heart that's happy and healthy, like a tended yard where I'll have a say what flowers and plants stay and weeds go, with my Gardener as my guide. And while at that having my heart vulnerable and wide open for my children to see, knowing what it looks like and what constitutes as 'normal'.
Things may get messy and I will fail again and again, and that's okay. Perfection was never part of the equation to begin with. It is when I'm able to show them that they will be able to receive, apply and build upon. And it'll be my utmost pleasure to take part in their journey of life, as much as they take part in mine.
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