Since hubby and I are both first-time parents, we were invited for a parenting session which was held at National Childcare Center in Mahe. Our speaker was from International School, a parent and a teacher herself. We started the session with a question, "where did you learn to be a parent?" and most of us agreed that we learned through intuition, imitation, and by far an example from our parents as well.
Media was also one of the considerable factors with which we took time to discuss the pros and cons. Hubby and I were into different groups to share experiences with the other parents and learn from them as well. Such a good way to interact with each other knowing how vital it was to hear life-changing stories from different parents with different perspectives and strategies on how to bring up a good child in society.
What's your Parenting Style?
Four main categories were emphasized and our speaker mentioned that we could be both either on becoming authoritative or democratic.
Authoritative by definition entails being in authority and as a child, you have to abide by the set rules. for example: living under your parents' roof means sharing responsibilities at home and doing household chores. Obey as what your parents would tell you to do, where mostly fathers agreed that it's their style however the consensus for democratic style voiced out by us mothers that there must be mutual respect between the parent and the child. I'm personally into democratic while hubby is into authoritative, so we sort of balance Sage's behaviour at home should there were instances when he's showing normal hyperactive behaviour and CONSEQUENCES of his actions are tantamount to LEARNING and never a punishment.
The session was productively helping hubby and me to acknowledge in general, wherein children need to learn that the world at large is full of consequences, natural or logical as occurrence. Like one time, while I was baking my baby's favourite banana cake, at his age since he's very much inquisitive, I mentioned to him that the oven was hot. Not unless he touched the pan that he knew what "hot" really meant. From then on, whenever he saw me baking, he would say, "mommy hot?" meaning he can't touch it while baking or else he will get himself burn. Learning from natural consequences led our baby into more cautious the next time and eventually knew hot and also cold.
Many parents believe that good parents are those that are responsible for their children. Isn't it what parenting is all about right? This has been encouraged by our society likewise taking risks and accepting success is part of growing up. As a first-time mom, there were instances I felt guilty when I am not available for my baby 24/7 especially the first three months. The exhaustion I felt, deprived of sleep, and also eating habit needless to say the ROUTINE which I tried to practice for Sage was overwhelming.
Rules or Routines?
As our baby is growing, setting up his routine was very crucial for his daily activities likewise, Sage's always looking forward to it. The first three months was easy to put up with however later did I realize that as he's also taking another milestone, setting up his routine has to change a bit knowing that putting him for an afternoon nap was not anymore the same like he had been as the first three months, likewise his bedtime routine which would momentarily mean that at least at 8 pm lights are off and no more baby train game. Rules are there to remind him that there were things he can't and can do yet Routines are more beneficial for his learning curve.
Remember what Matthew Jacobson inspirational quote on parenting,
"behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first" and this I can fully attest to because Sage during his assessment before his second year birthday has surpassed my expectations when at first he's hesitant to interact with the attending nurse who showed him those things he already knew yet since he's not used to her presence, he's a bit reserved at first. So I have to remind him, it's okay and he can identify those objects. He looked at me and I smiled back gave him a nod. Lo and behold, he eventually enjoyed the game in the end and the nurse said he's pretty much advanced for his age.
Sharing a video of Sage during our Family Weekend Getaway
*All images used on this post are mine edited via Canva
oh looks like such a fun and enlighten activity to have and to learn more about your own parenthood and how to improve it, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! also sucha cute boy Sage is!
yay thank you for your kind words, truly a gift from heaven becoming a parent. Hubby and I were just lucky to be given a chance to join the session because we have learned so many things as we're both first time parents.
There's more sessions coming and we're both looking forward into it. It's just so amazing hearing the experiences of other parents as well. Such a learning curve for both of us.
Great day ahead.
Your article is interesting and lovely. Being a parent is not an easy task, so I'll say you and your husband are doing just fine.
I like that you both attended a workshop to sharpen your parenting skill. Sage is an adorable boy and with your guidance is growing up fast and learning the meaning of consequences. The "mommy hot"? question made me laugh.
Sometimes, you may feel guilty as though you are not doing enough but keep doing your best. Also make out time for your own rest. Kudos on a great job with Sage.
The Smile team appreciates you for sharing your quality content with us. Do well to check #smi-le to read from other like minded writers.
true @kemmyb at times the feeling of guilt when I felt like I haven't attended him well especially on the first three months that exhaustion engulfed my system. Just grateful that God has given me strength to surpass those moments of being deprived from sleeping.
Likewise, Sage's developmental milestones are just overwhelming at times like there were word's he's able to utter without me remembering teaching it to him e.g du pain which means bread and de lait which means milk instead he'd shown me by dragging me towards it. Lol, he's teaching me French gradually
Thank you so much for commenting. I truly appreciate it for dropping by on my post. Great day ahead.