The child ran towards you saying "Mommy has a word". You replied, "Mommy's busy now, I'll hear later." Isn't that a very common thing? Is that possible? But this incident, which is normal for you, had a profound effect on the child's mind. The child realized that his words were not important to his mother.
Very few mothers are aware of their child's mental development. Some mothers are becoming a little more aware now but their percentage is very low. Mothers think about why their baby is not getting fat as much as one-tenth of them do not worry about their child's mental development.
The child came to show you something with great interest, you were busy with something on your mobile. To avoid trouble, he said, go play now, I will come and see later.
The child is sitting in his room playing. You live in a joint family. There was a problem with someone in the family. You didn't say anything to him but when he came in the room the baby came to say something, he put two blows on the baby's young body.
After a long day, my parents came to the office. The child began to talk about what he had done all day with interest and the parent stopped him and said, I am tired now, I will listen later.
Thousands of such small examples can be given, which are very small things to us, but big enough to hurt a child emotionally. The child understands slowly that the words are not important to the adults. Slowly he rolled himself up. And he doesn't come to tell you anything. He insists, showing anger. You think the kid is getting rude. More tough governance is needed. In difficult regimes the child moves further away mentally from being a parent.
Many of us have the idea, we also became human in this way in our childhood, we were beaten, aren't we human? How many of us have actually become real people. Look around You can't find good people by hand. Violence, enmity, stinging others, disrespecting others, criminal tendencies, humiliating others are all traits of this nation. Why should we give our children the pain we got as children?
Put yourself in the baby's place. Try to understand his mental state. Listen to him carefully. When he comes running to you, listen to him first. It doesn't take more than 5 minutes. Dad also needs to be aware of this. No matter how busy you are in the office outside, don't be stingy in giving time to your child. Stop slapping that angry child by being angry at others. If you have the courage to show anger at that man. And if you do not have the courage to sit quietly.
Never compare a child with another child.
"You see how polite he is, he listens to everything, and you just do mischief."
"Look how that kid can write, draw beautiful pictures, and you can't do anything."
Such comparisons make the child's mind smaller, make him think of himself as unnecessary, keep thinking that parents do not love him. He gradually became more stubborn.
It is often difficult to tolerate a child's mischief or unreasonable insistence. He will not be allowed to understand that whatever he wants or says will happen. If he insists, he will use it as a weapon.
Even if you grow up, that habit will continue. So in some cases governance is needed. Deprive him of his favorite things for a while. If you don't stop your tantrums / screams / mischief in 2 minutes, you won't be able to watch your favorite cartoon today. Say this and move away from the room. He will stop in 2 minutes. In this way, not giving your favorite candy, stopping talking to him, canceling where you are going to go, these punishments will make him listen to you easily.
But if you have a habit of killing and gossiping about him, he will not be afraid of anything easily. Because you have already applied extreme level punishment on him.
If you ever speak in a loud voice to your child by mistake, say sorry at the last moment. He will learn the rudeness of speaking loudly. Always say sorry by mistake. He himself will learn to say sorry.
Think of the child as a human being, not as an object. Don't let the effects of frustration fall on the child. You can only teach a child politeness, civility, humility when you and your husband have those qualities.
