Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears - Marcus Aurelius.
I love history, and looking backward in time; learning from those who have come before me provides great insight into my own life, offers different perspectives and the opportunity to think and act a little differently. One such person is Marcus Aurelius [Roman emperor 161 to 180 AD] so here is a series on some of his words. image source
Marcus Aurelius says...
Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
I was speaking with my brother about our experiences as children a few days ago and, as always, was struck by the similarities and differences.
This particular brother is only five years younger than I, but the experiences he had growing up were so much different to my own and despite also having had a reasonably difficult time of it as a brown kid growing up in an otherwise completely white small rural town in Australia he (fortunately) never went through what I did.
As I've said a few times before, I was terribly racially victimised from the moment I went to kindergarten as a four year old and then into my school years.
Being spat on, called all sorts of derogatory names, having my things taken and thrown around the play yard, being kicked, pushed and punched and generally ostracised by everyone, including some of the teachers, didn't make for a very happy time for me... But I've also said it built character, taught me a lot about human nature, helped build a strong sense of protectiveness over those who cannot protect themselves, and a great propensity to act decisively to address those doing the wrong thing...this has come out in many ways over my life, most of which didn't go so well for the target, and it even comes through in my activities with bad actors here on Hive.
I'm the man I am today for many reasons, but what I endured as a young kid has a lot to do with it and my sense of honour and integrity is based on the experiences I had.
Today, I selected this quote because it means a lot to me, and through living it I have managed to get through much of what occurred in my life as a child and managed to thrive moving forward into adulthood.
It essentially means that we, as individuals, have the ability to breathe life into the feelings and emotions we have due to other people's behaviour or actions towards us or to take it away - we have the power to let things hurt us or not.
I'll admit that there is an aspect to it that I don't agree with because the injury doesn't go away altogether, but it can diminish over time to a point where it is negated allowing us to move on and function as we choose to, irrespective of what has been done to us. I believe the quote is a better turn of phrase than the old adage, sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me. I call bullshit on that one because words can fucken destroy a person, I know this first hand.
I know who I am, who and what I am not and who and what I strive to be - I believe it is important for all of us to know these things, accept and understand them and to find the courage and fortitude to work towards making appropriate changes.
I'm a strong man in many ways, resolute, steadfast, a rock (sometimes a very hard-headed and bloody stubborn one) and a man who can take action even should that action be incredibly difficult but there's other facets of me that I value (as do a few others) also and it's all of those things combined that make up...me.
What happened to me as a kid and how I dealt with it has contributed to the creation of me as a person. Sure, I didn't feel this way at the time, I was a broken, sad little fellow sometimes, but something in me rejected the hurts, the knocks and the injuries that were inflicted upon me - I didn't know at the time, but back then as a little kid I was applying the words of Marcus Aurelius above, and somehow I eventually became the me of today with all the facets and elements combing towards what and who I've become.
I believe, through rejecting the sense of injury I could have felt, difficult though it was, I've been able to dust off a little after being knocked down, to find courage, integrity and the ability to do hard things. I use the phrase lift heavy shit, because that's what I guess it really is...only, the stuff we lift isn't always physical right?
If you have any thoughts on this quote, the topic in general, the words I write or what they make you feel yourself, then please feel free to comment. If you have any stories of your own, you feel comfortable to share, than please also do so.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default, tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind - galenkp
I may have not experience the things that you encountered in your childhood but, I became a person who I am today because of my own share of hardships in life.
These hardships made me strong and brave overtime but it also made other people see me as harsh, over protective, unfriendly and insensitive. But that is okay for as long as I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing and my heart is pure.
What I like about those experiences is that I am able to reflect how ugly it is to belittle people, drag people down and take away their self-esteem.
Thank you so much for this post because I was able to reflect again on my past. 😊
This is common to most of us I think.
I can relate to this completely as people don't always stop to understand other people's behaviours or traits and if they disagree with them they often become judgemental, right or wrong. It's like me and how I address those doing the wrong thing...I'm pretty brutal with it, here on Hive and in the real world, and many don't understand...especially those being addressed. I'm ok with it though.
I'm glad you liked this post. I was sure many would relate to some of the things I said and am happy that a few have taken the time to read it.
Well that is just fair sir because there are really people who are abusive.
Yep, my thoughts exactly.
The difficulties and wounds of the past forge our character, every wound when it heals leaves scars.
Some are bigger scars and they never go away, we have to learn to live with that.
I believe that the denial of experiences is always something wrong, even negative experiences bring lessons and we must remember them and use them for what the future will be.
What you are today is also the result of what you have suffered in the past, I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you had, but today you have put them to good use and as far as I know you, you are a very nice person.
Thanks for sharing 🤗
We all have scars and I've found it's best not to ignore them, but to use them (the things that put them there) as impetus towards better outcomes in the present and future.
I agree.
Thanks mate, all just water under the bridge, although at the time it wasn't very nice. I'm ok now although..."a very nice person?" Some would disagree, and that's ok. I appreciate you saying so.
Eh eh actually the tradition is maybe dated wrong.
I meant a beautiful person, a good person.
Even if I confess that I like you.
Then being serious, maybe disciplined doesn't mean being unpleasant, right?
I'll take it.
Discipline isn't about being unpleasant at all, it's about knowing what's required and doing the things that will affect a result even should those things be difficult.
The difficult things as I see it are the ones that grow and lead to success.
After all, everyone is good at doing easy things, aren't they?
And if you think about it, there are people who are so undisciplined that they don't even make easy ones 😅
You're right, those things that provide the most benefit are often those that are a little more difficult to do or begin. The enlightened people among us know this and make it happen, the dum dums do not.
It is one thing to have a great sense of honour and dignity, it's another thing to hold on to what you believe is true.
Growing up there were times where I cried myself to sleep and woke up crying because of the hurt and pain afflicted on me for who I am. Not because I was an imbecile, or ugly, but because I was thin black boy.
But then I promised myself even at that age that no matter the hurt or pain I will be a proof of love. And nobody's action towards me will be enough to kill the love in me. So anytime I was abused or hurt, I will simply look back with a smile, and when I saw an opportunity to render help to the same persons who hurt me, I did in joy. It wasn't long before the torture stopped because I think even then as young as I was I knew I was better than they all were and it motivated me to proof them otherwise.
Like most things, honour and integrity are specific to the person and differs between us all based on many factors.
Kids can be cruel, adults too, and it's not just because the colour of skin or even just physical attributes, discrimination and victimisation comes for may reasons - it's ingrained in human beings and whilst some are able to control and temper it, many are not. I guess all we can do is be the best version of ourselves, uphold our idea of honour and integrity and use those bad times to provide motivation to move forward as best we can.
There's a wonderful saying, "Kill 'em with kindness." You're the embodiment of this phrase based on what you're telling us. I hope you have the strength to keep it up, because it's not easy. 😊
This is a fantastic outlook, and I greatly appreciate you sharing this quote and its relevance to your own experience. I think many of us can take wisdom from this, as we all have our demons which we're fighting, but sometimes don't know how to overcome. Thank you as always, Galen. 😊
I'm not a victim, I don't allow myself to be, and so I take what happened/happens and turn it into something I can use to create a better present and future. I don't see much point in whinging and complaining, but taking no action. Doing nothing to address the negative things in life won't help move things forward right?
Perfect! The fact that you take action to address that which has hurt you is a sign of someone who champions over their problems. Action is always key.
Action is certainly the key, and yet so many sit back hoping and wishing, rather than getting off their asses and taking action.
Bingo. And sometimes just getting through the day is an ordeal for any number of reasons.
!PIZZA
I wanted to add that in lest someone take my, lift heavy shit, comment too literally.
Sure, it means to work hard, apply effort, strive and complete tasks and then look for more, but it's not just that. It's about persistence, determination, courage, being resolute, unflappable and standing when it's easier to fall. It's also about understanding and accepting oneself, learning to love oneself and realising that mistakes don't define us, what we do when they happen does...it means a lot of different things, my lift heavy shit phrase. A lot of that, most of that, starts in the noggin and pushes outwards.
So, yeah getting through a day, any day, can be tough and require some heavy lifting.
History really teaches us a lot and tells us about many things that we still don't know.Of course, a person has to go through a lot of pain and suffering to achieve a position, after which a person becomes successful.Behind every successful person there is a pain, a pain, an accident and a bad time, through which he becomes successful.
You say it well and I agree with you. Life is a journey and not always are the roads smooth.
Yup it's absolutely true.
I gifted $PIZZA slices here:
@jacobtothe(1/10) tipped @galenkp (x1)
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