Some years ago, before FB got hold of me, my relatives had an email string and would pass around video clips that they got from I know not where.
There was one about a bicycle thief, real video recorded. Seems bikes were being stolen routinely from this one area, so these fellows sabotaged a bicycle and left it there.
I don't remember exactly, but I think it had to do with the handlebars not being attached, and at the first bump they came loose from the frame.
The thief would pitch forward, and could have easily been impaled on the steering post, and at the very least since it had a cross bar (from seat to the handlebars, unlike a girls bike from back in the day) the thief also got a couple of small round objects forced up from his groin to his throat, if you get my meaning.
What goes around comes around, and a thief is a thief, but call the damned cops, you got him on video, why risk his life and health over a bicycle?
Ouch. Now see I would NOT find that funny, even if it was a thief being impaled. But I'm not american. ;)