Part 5/14:
He recounts how he got to that point by "doing what he was told," following a sequence of institutional decisions, rather than through a series of deliberate choices. His career path was largely shaped by his academic success, family influence, and the opportunities presented by the military, culminating in a job underground controlling nuclear weapons—a job he found deeply engrossing yet profoundly isolating.
The Gnawing Reflection and Questioning of Purpose
He narrates the mental toll of being confined in underground silos, 100 feet beneath the surface, observing long shifts with minimal interaction or sunlight. Sitting in a capsule with a partner he rarely liked, he reflects on the existential questions: whether this life was meaningful and if he was truly making a difference.