Part 5/11:
The Unbalanced Effort-Reciprocity Equation
Another critical factor driving withdrawal is the unbalanced effort equation. Many men report feeling that they are the ones carrying the emotional and logistical weight—from initiating contact to financing dates—while receiving minimal return. This persistent imbalance creates a sense of being caught in a game where the rules constantly shift, and their effort is met with silence or rejection.
Moreover, societal expectations and evolving notions of masculinity complicate this dynamic. Men feel scrutinized as they try to strike a balance between confidence and humility, strength and vulnerability. This constant self-censorship, coupled with the emotional labor of trying to meet contradictory expectations, leads to exhaustion.