Part 5/9:
Admiral Richard Levine (further exaggerated as having a twin sister, Rachel) proposed sending a flotilla of ships to distribute pamphlets “explaining why healthy children should be sexually butchered,” despite the Taliban’s own violent tendencies and the landlocked geography of Afghanistan.
Meanwhile, the fictional "Vladimir Kung Pow," supposedly the Director of U.S. intelligence, suggested infiltrating Catholic churches in America to prevent Latin from being spoken, thus allegedly "slowing the decay of American culture"—another outlandish idea illustrating the satirical skewness of the report.