I never knew the perks of being mute until I met him that day. It was a winter afternoon of January and the benevolent sun had finally decided to work up its way through the clouds. My sister and I had taken her daughter to the park for a good warm exposure. Plus, ever since she'd been back from her in-laws' place, she'd only been bored and we decided that this might work a magic. As it turned out later, it did.
"I'll take her to the fountains, she'll like it," I waved, gesturing the words to Sikha – my sister, and since we've spent half of our lives together, she knew exactly how to read my hand signs.
We were sitting on the grass, entirely exposed to the sun, our skin finally realizing the feel of natural warmth after two or three days probably.
"Yeah, that's a good idea. You go, I'll wait here," she said. I fixed Molly's – Sikha's daughter's stroller and then put her in it as we went out on the pavements.
As we strolled down the pavement, I looked around; the intricacy of the park struck me. Not that I was visiting it for the first time, but for the umpteenth time now, its beauty was as if untouched. It was just wondering how it represented the entire ecosystem in just a few acres of land.
There was a slope downwards as we strolled down towards the fountain. There was a man walking right in the middle of the pavement. Of all the sides of pavement, he chose to walk in the middle of it. What an idiot!
If I tried to pass by him, by adjusting the stroller to a side of the road, it would trip as one wheel of it would be stuck in the lower region of land where the grasses grew. If I tried to avoid the end of the pavement—so as not to trip, it would hit the idiot walking. I had no idea how to alert him. I could have just stopped there. But I was just way beyond irritated at his stupidity.
Whatever happens, happens...I won't stop!
Next thing I know is that I had hit him with the stroller, right in his leg and he tripped on his knees. He instantly rose to his feet and looked back, bamboozled.
"What the hell?" he grimaced.
I waved at him, "What are you doing walking in the middle of the pavement?"
He flicked his head and raised a brow.
"Why are you waving?" he asked. That sentence just sent a spark down my spine. Like it wasn't obvious enough... Why would anyone wave if she could speak? What a mean thing to ask!
"...maybe because you're deaf," I spat, not exactly speaking-spat, more of a sign-language-spat.
There was this one thing though. He could read my signs perfectly. There were many possibilities swooning around me.
"Yeah well, I am. And I was walking in the middle of the pavement because...look around you. There's no one here, except maybe you and your child. What are the chances of getting hit by someone in an empty park?" He frowned at the end of his sentence.
Of all the things he just said, my mind just hung up on his first few words, "You're really deaf?" I waved.
"Are you nuts, girl? If you're not sure I'm deaf then why are you waving?"
"You're rude," he read my signs as I formed them.
"What... Am I rude? You just hit me," he said instantly after reading out my sentence.
"Sorry," he read my sign again.
"It's fine. And yes, I can't hear. Born this way. Nobody's fault," he twitched his lips. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I got this feeling that I have seen him somewhere before.
I just remained silent, staring at his jaw-line, his eyes, and all those familiarities. I had to have seen him before.
"Ah, sorry. I'm blocking your way," he moved aside, "I should move before you tramp your way over me." He chuckled.
I just gave him a look and moved a few steps ahead with Molly in her stroller.
A few seconds later I realized that I hadn't lost his trail. He was still walking, a little behind me.
I looked at him. He said, "What? I have to go in the same direction. Now, I'm not even allowed to walk on this pavement anymore?"He frowned, kind of weird on that puppy face.
I just worked my eyes and ignoring him, walked ahead. I was pretty sure he smirked. Then after few seconds I heard—
"How did you know I was deaf?"
I stopped, turned slightly on one heel and looked at him. "I didn't." I just waved and resumed walking.
He went silent too and finally, we reached the fountain area where there was a bench few feet from the fountain. I pushed the stroller near the bench and sat on it, near one end where armrests are.
All this time he was staring at me and somewhere inside, the familiarity I was talking about, I wanted him to continue doing that—it was even more soothing than the sun.
"Do you mind?" he asked, pointing to the empty space of the bench.
I shook my head and he slumped in the empty seat.
My expression mirrored his as we stared at the sun peeking through the high fountains of water, breeding multicolor sign of love when its rays met the dancing water fountain.
I slipped my feet out of the sandals and pressed my feet against the moist, fresh grass as I looked around to take in the greenery of the park. The sun made it all so look excruciatingly beautiful.
"Why do I feel like I've seen you before?" he asked, taking me by surprise. I was wondering the same thing.
I licked my bottom lip as I stared at him. I kept staring at him.
He chuckled nervously, "What?"
I shook my head again. "I was having the same feeling," I waved.
He nodded and immediately looked ahead at the fountain marring the direct sight of Sun. If looked closely, the spectrum formed by Sun through the water was dancing, extraordinarily, well, I was no scientist so I wouldn't know if it was natural or not but it sure as hell didn't seem normal.
As I trailed my eyes towards the bottom of the fountain, that gargoyle from which the water was spurting out in shapes—from its ears and eyes and mouth—intrigued me. Something about the expression on its carved face was enigmatic today. Maybe it was because I was seeing it so closely for the first time, although I've been coming here since I was a little kid.
"Déjà-vu..." he muttered silently as he stared at the sun and fountain and gargoyle.
From behind the circular statue in that little fountain pond, few ducks showed up, quacking their way around.
"Your child's cute," he said at once, turning his head towards me.
"Not mine," I mouthed. I didn't need gesturing for two words.
He raised his brows as if he had anticipated something worse but amusement hit him hard as I mouthed the words.
He then looked back at the ducks and other ornaments they had thrown in the water for decoration—or for ducks to play, who knows! I wondered how could he be so amused by the ducks when he couldn't even hear them quacking. I bet he made up these noises in his head and assuming that's how ducks would sound...or he might be doing that for anyone or anything.
I got that he was shy and hesitant to strike up the conversation but I wasn't helping either. If anything, I was only bringing him down by not stretching the replies to what he had asked and just replying succinctly. That's just the conversation killer.
"Aren't they beautiful?" he asked. This time I wouldn't let that chance of stretching the conversations skip away.
I nodded. Then I waved—to which he read out my signs—"I love the sun, today."
After reading me out, he tried looking again at the fountain and this time—by the way, his face lit up—I could tell that he saw what I was seeing.
"You're right. Those patterns in the colors...uh, it's like the inside-out of a kaleidoscope," his amusement couldn't be concealed now.
Just then a rubber ball bounced out of nowhere and jumped into the pond, scaring some of the ducks away. There was this red one, the duck, which had a white strap around its neck was quite a little too intrigued at the sight of us sitting together. It didn't even flinch when the ball jumped in.
A little girl in green frock came looking for the ball just after the ducks settled. She grabbed my arm and asked if I had seen her ball. I just pointed out to the pond and she saw it. She said that she was afraid of the ducks so if I could get that out for her.
I waved, "Sure, why not."
"Why are you waving, didi?" She asked.
I looked down for a bit and then I just plainly waved, as simply as I could, "I can't speak." And then I stroke her chin in adoration.
Just then, an advent of voice made me look back, "Excuse me, you can't speak?" He had his eyebrows raised, his eyes twice as big as they were when I first saw them.
I shook my head with my thinned lips.
His jaws parted and his eyes narrowed, basically a sign of surprise and contempt but that wasn't it. His expression drew the gods from heaven to decrypt it. He seemed sympathetic at once and then suddenly, there was a smile of acknowledgment as if he had seen it coming.
I just got up and gave the girl her ball back. That red duck still didn't move at all when I put my hand in the pond when all the other ducks cleared the area. It just craned its neck following my direction. What a weird duck!
When I settled back in my seat, he said, "I lied before."
I looked at him.
"I lied about being born this way. My father once...accidentally beat me to it."
"Well, I was beaten by god," I waved, and then smiled and then waved again, "Mine's cancer."
He offered an empathetic smile.
"Mine did it on purpose, or at least I'm tempted to think like that sometimes," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Yeah, well, at least you can fight yours. Whenever I meet God, I'd really wish to be deaf than mute. It's impossible to get through this." To this day, I still regret that very sentence.
"You think this is easy?" He seemed pretty hurt by that. Well, he was only human.
"No, I didn't mean that. I'm...I'm really sorry."
"No, no, it's okay. It's okay that you feel like that. I mean, this is what the voracious truth about the humanity is...every human being is tempted to believe that the pain they're going through is supreme. Everybody thinks that they're in greater pain, or else pain wouldn't be there. There is the whole existence of this thing."
"Some things—we just know," I gesticulated.
"You're right. We always know what is consoling us. You know what, when I meet God, I would really wish that we swapped our inabilities. It would be kind of fun to walk in someone else's shoes for once, I mean for what it's worth."
I chuckled, and then waved, "It is worth nothing..."
"Well, we'd see," he chuckled back. "By the way, I'm Sahil, the guy who's suffering less."
"I'm Shruti, the girl going through the insufferable pain and has, apparently, offended the less suffering guy," I reached my hand out to shake his after having waved the entire sentence somehow. He tripped over my name once or twice but then he caught it.
He smiled and shook my hand, "It's nice to meet you Shruti."
I pouted when a quick thought entered my head, "Isn't it a heavy coincidence that we both lack the organs that audibly complement each other?"
"A dead heavy coincidence," he shook his head, smiling, staring back at the petite lion—or tiger??—gargoyle that was squirting water through every possible hole in its head.
***
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