In fact my depression and anxiety isn't valid anymore.
Ok first of all, I have to say that this is absolutely never the case. Everyone's issues are entirely valid. Always. ALWAYS.
I am sure eventually you'll be writing about a successful ending from your house in Chile with your wife
And this is what I hope for more than anything. Anywhere; we still don't know where we want to live. The Chile plan was only for 6 months or so, and then we would return here for a few years.. but who knows what will happen.
She really has her shit together; in fact I don't think we could be more opposite of people. She/our relationship is one of my biggest inspirations. I'm such a dark person and she is so happy and positive. It sounds strange, but it's a wonderful dynamic.
I know what you mean about the dream thing. My brain sometimes drifts towards The Truman Show style of thought as well. But, I'm aware this is reality.. however impossible it seems at times. There's NOTHING wrong, and especially not pathetic, about indulging in your wine. I love drinking. And it's worked fine for me for a long time. COVID pushed me over that boundary though; not to "out of control".. just I wasn't really recognizing myself anymore. I had no reason NOT to drink, and I think that was a bad situation for me. I'm not a sober-forever guy, I just need to get back in shape and focus on some goals of mine, and drinking was becoming more fun than being productive and motivated. Especially with all this border bullshit. You keep your wine up if it's working for you. There's no shame in that. Whatsoever. And I mean, working in a restaurant... hard not to drink. At least in my experience. There's a lot of alcohol in that environment haha.
I'll try for the novel. It wasn't necessarily an offer; I saw they were accepting short story submissions for a collection they were publishing. The theme wasn't my thing but I decided why not go for it. They agreed the subject matter wasn't my thing haha. But they liked my writing and asked for more examples. I sent them others and they more or less said "love your writing, need to work on a few things, but we'd be surprised if we didn't want to work with you on a novel if you submitted a draft". That's the most encouragement I've gotten, and it put a big smile on my face.
Thanks for reading. You've quickly become one of my favorite people to engage with here. Cheers to you from a different part of our continent!
Same to you and Cheers!