I used to drink the kool aid man. but i put my heart and soul into this place for 6 years. like you said, it's an illusion. it's not decentralized.
I'm wondering if I'm just bitter, but I really have nothing to be bitter about lol I just fell out of love here, because I just don't see things getting better.
For years things have been in 'development' while the rest of the crypto space passes us by...
Don't worry about it, as long as you realized that you're on a good way. I know that you have put a lot of effort, love and energy here. It takes time to realize what is what, who is who etc.
You finally woke up and that is all it matters.
Peace BRO.