Let yourself grieve. it is the least you owe yourself. Let these ancedotes help you find your way back to the light. It is not an easy feat but you can do it in due time. The pain never goes away. You just learn to deal with it eventually.
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I've been doing that everyday, but it gets worse, knowing I'm the only surviving one scares me a lot. It's deeper than grieving now. Being caught up in life's uncertainty, while grieving is a terrible place to be.