This topic just ground me to a standstill when I read it Friday morning (my time) and still has me conflicted at Sunday Lunch.
There have been 4. Two are dead and two aren't. Each has been just completely instrumental in getting through a specific time in my life. How do I put one above or ahead of another? I really am conflicted.
I was really have really been a babe in the woods socially for most of my life. A big, tough nasty babe but still. One taught me most of what I know about getting along in life. One was part and parcel of my getting sober (with not being dead as part of that) one was there, and I mean right there, when my daughter died. He left the hospital a couple hours before I did, but by the time I got home he'd been arrested for "Howling at God" in his back yard at 0500. I was at least able to go give him a ride home...
And then there's Ray. I met him when early in the life of my coffee shop. He had just bought this house that I live in when we opened. I was sitting on the patio after work on Memorial day when he showed up late. He got a cup of coffee and we basically just sat. He said he was remembering friends and his son. I told him I was remembering friends and my daughter.
To take a whole bunch of words out of the middle, he was the best rider I've ever known and we ended up with me following him for well over 100,000 miles. He did crazy rides like going to El Paso for a burrito. It's 550 miles and we were back before midnight of the same day. It was 40C for a bunch of that ride, we looked like lobsters at coffee in the morning.
I learned a lot from Ray, not the least of which was how to die with grace and dignity and still be a tough son of a bitch. He managed. We would argue and trade fuck you with startling frequency and both knew that it was just words. Often we were OK with each other in minutes. I still miss him every day and it's been 10 years since he left. Every single day brings something I wish I could show him or talk to him about.
He was a cat guy (He had one called 'roof rabbit') and I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten along just fine with Sam.
So that's it. Ray. Damn I miss him.
Everyone needs a Ray...Although we're not always lucky enough to have one. This post made me think if I have a Ray and to be honest I have to say I don't believe I do. It's a bit sad to admit that I guess but I don't have much to hide. I have some very good relationships, some indestructible ones, but it sounds like Ray was pretty special.
Thanks for sharing...I related to much of what you said above, but will leave those thoughts off the blockchain.
Also, thanks for dropping by, in the current situation you I didn't expect it, but I'm glad you did.
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