I am annoying: Learning to Shut Up

in Weekend Experiences8 months ago

Write about a time when you were very annoying to others. Explain the situation, what happened, why, what the result was, and also what you learned in the post of 300+ words - use images you took yourself if possible. 👉 Use the title, I'm annoying for your post.

If you ask me what kind of person I am, I would probably tell you that I am quite reserved and shy. Well, that's how I perceive myself, but I'm not sure if others see me the same way, haha. I was not like this when I was younger; I reached a point in my life where I thought it was good to be quiet and maintain peace and harmony.

I am certain that if I compare my past self to my present self, there has indeed been a change. I don't know what triggered these changes in my personality, but I think they are related to my past experiences, especially when people I know would often tell me that I'm an annoying person.

I am expressive about what I think and feel. I don't suppress thoughts and emotions that I believe aren't harmful to others. In fact, if we're close friends and you're around me, I would casually talk to you and share details about my day, what happened, why I felt a certain way, my rants, and so on. I am a very vocal person.

However, there have been instances where a friend informed me that another group of people is starting to get annoyed with me. According to my friend, the reason is that I constantly vent and rant to them, and they have reached their limit with my complaints. Hearing this saddened me because I considered them friends whom I could rely on during difficult times. Learning about this information made me question and reflect on myself.

Here's some context:

This happened during my senior high school years when I transferred to a new university. It was also a time when I was extremely stressed and experienced culture shock in my new environment. I found it difficult to adjust and connect with new people, especially with our tightly packed schedules and academic tasks. I can't blame myself for feeling this way because, during junior high school, I had grown accustomed to the same people and environment for four years. It felt like I was forcefully pushed out of my comfort zone to explore the world.

I am the class president so the stress is doubled, lol. In this picture are my other class officers.

This is my whole class. Sorry for the low quality anyways. I got it from my Instagram stories.

Some of my friends from junior high school also attended the same university, so after class, we would often meet up to share our day. They were my only outlet, and I would vent to them about how stressed I was. I didn't realize that this was already annoying them.

Finding out that my friends were already annoyed with my constant blabbering made me feel hurt and somewhat angry. I took offense and felt disappointed with them. However, as I matured, I came to realize that I couldn't really blame them. I understood that they were also seeking moments of relaxation and unwinding from their own stresses, and I was unknowingly disrupting their peace. I became the center of attention in our conversations, and instead of diverting their focus to other topics, I kept bringing them back to the things they wanted to avoid.

As of the moment, I am now seeking other ways to voice out my emotions. I am thankful that I discovered blogging, which has helped me find a healthier medium to express my emotions. Right now, I am careful in choosing the people I confide in, unlike before when I would share everything with everyone I knew. I guess I have already learned my lesson.

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