When I was able to I used to do something like this for my wife on occasion. Not every week like you though, but enough to show her she was still special. However, it is something that I need to get back to doing more of. It is something I have let fall to way.
I do try to do small things when I can. Just doing her "honey-do" list makes her happy. Honestly I am the one usually being shown the tenderness most times during our marriage. However after 30 plus years of marriage, we probably take each other for granted more than we should sometimes.
My youngest is getting ready to begin Univesity and in a couple years we will probably be empty nesters, so not sure what tht will lead to, but hoping we can rekindle some of that pre-child days type behavior again too.
Doing things like this have benefit to the one receiving and the one giving the moment and if done regularly helps build momentum to create the sort of actions that create an even better feeling between a couple.
For sure, this happens...but seeing it means people have the chance to rectify it...I think it just takes one to make the first step or even open discussions around it.
Yep, we discuss taking each other for granted and talk about what we are going to start doing more of to rectify it when the youngest leaves the house, like traveling more together and other stuff. In the mean time we have been doing smaller things a little at a time. She has been a homemaker most of our marriage, so I try to occasionally do homemaker duties to relieve her of those. I fail abismally though to pass her standards most times though 😀. Our biggest joy together right now comes from working in the yard and flowers and going to my group meetings as she gets to sit and chat with others couples as well.
Abysmal failure in household chores is acceptable, it's the failure to attempt them that is not. You're on the right track if you're giving it a go and I think your wife would agree. Secret: I fucked up the clothes washing so badly one time that I've been banned from doing it. I made up for it in other ways and with other chores and the upside is I don't need to do the laundry anymore.
Build on that, it's a solid start. Remember being a Marine? (I know you do.) You did difficult shit and leaned into it right? This is more important. You know?
Yep,don;t get me wrong. we are still in love and absolute best friends. Just over the years with kids and all we lost our "umph" to enjoy life together as a couple. It became more about the kids than anything. We kind of put each other on the back burner. Now it is time to make us first again.
Dude, I am in the same boat with you on the laundry. I am not allowed to touch it with a 10 foot pole.
I get it man. I mean, I don't have kids so don't fully understand through lack of experience, but I'm not an idiot and so can imagine the complexities of raising kids and retaining the spark or whatever one wants to call it. You'll get there mate.
Lol...See? We can do something right! (Weasel our way out of doing the laundry!)