.jpg)
I’ve met a fair few ignorant assholes in my time, but then I did spend some years in the legal profession.
My definition of an ignorant asshole? That’s the blighter who places his bag on the seat beside him on the bus, spits or urinates in the street, lets the door slam in your face or allows his children to run wild. Or the solicitor who, upon being told that the document he requires is no longer extant enquires “When is it likely to be?” Upon being further informed that no longer extant means gone, disappeared, never to be seen again replies “Do you know who I am?” Entitled, condescending, boorish people, the sort I’d banish to an island so the rest of us can get on with being civic-minded.
I once heard a barrister complain to the barman in a pub that us legal types frequented for lunch, that the portion I’d been given was larger than the one he’d received. Now that’s an asshole! The fact that the barman fancied me and my portion was larger was beside the point.
.jpg)
I have strong opinions on most subjects and am rarely wrong about anything, but I'm not an ignorant asshole about it. For example, I don’t like children, but when my friends talk about their children/grandchildren I don’t roll my eyes or change the subject. Oh no! I’m all ears. What they don’t know is that I’ve mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open.
Indeed I consider myself quite the antithesis of an ignorant asshole, conduct myself at all times with gentility, decorum and tolerance and do not shout down or ridicule the absurd viewpoints of those who disagree with me. Faced with someone less cerebral than I spouting nonsense about net zero, cow farts, bird flu, moonwalks or Elon Musk going to Mars, I simply feign a look of extreme fascination while reciting the 12 times tables in my head until they stop. Then I file them under avoid.
There are ways of navigating this sea of mindless twittery in which we find ourselves adrift. You don't have to be an asshole.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Posted in response to @galenkp's Weekend Experiences prompts asking 'Are you you an ignorant asshole?'
The images are my own, random photos taken on Dublin streets.
That first line...way to start strong, and then you back it up with "children running wild" to underline it!
I was about half way through thinking, you fucken slayed it, and then...read the word antithesis, and knew slayed it wasn't ever going to cover it. Nice work indeed!
So...a larger food portion...enough to get you to ditch work at lunch time and pursue more pleasurable pursuits? (Asking for a friend.) 🤔😇
Hahaha,tell your friend, a couple of extra chips and I'm anyone's!:)
Fuck yeah!
Umm, I mean, sure I'll let him know.
Hello "Miss Congeniality" who've - mastered the art of sleeping with eyes opened. I really had a chuckle there.
There are indeed ways and means of navigating through life without being unpleasant even when we hear/see things that will make us cringe. In those instances our opinions will most likely only hurt people and they will be none the better for it. Being tolerant and congenial helps.
I should point out that I don't extend that congeniality and tolerance to Dutch queue-jumpers :)
Have you seen those guys? I once bent down to get my purse out of my bag and a fella skipped in front of me while he thought I wasn't looking:)
"solicitor who, upon being told that the document he requires is no longer extant enquires “When is it likely to be?” Upon being further informed that no longer extant means gone, disappeared, never to be seen again" looks like u faced a lot of those. "am rarely wrong about anything" liked that phrase haha "i sometimes use it too", " I’ve mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open" haha & have thought only fishes can do it!, "I simply feign a look of extreme fascination while reciting the 12 times tables in my head until they stop" haha i use that technique too but hell time goes so slow n such situations so sometimes i've to switch to the i have an important call technique!. have a great day
My life is a constant struggle between wanting to correct punctuation and wanting to have friends!;)
And never use the important phone call ruse. It's been well and truly rumbled.
Yep :))
Hahaha, that's two of us so!
Oh there's loads of assholes around! That one with the barman was epic
I got one in the postal office, he didn't accepted my coins as payment because I had too many coins 😂
Didn't accept? What an asshole!' I'd've dropped the coins and run away!
Yep, they were too many according to him... Typical state worker of here doing nothing all day, doesn't even want to count coins
I told him that's what I have, you don't like it? It's still that only
Way to go! Don't let the assholes grind you down!
I don't think I would accept any characterization of you that included the word 'ignorant'. As for the other half of this term, I can't see that either :).
You do say the nicest things!
I was once out to dinner with a man who ordered a "twenty five ingredient" dish in a chinese restaurant. He counted. There were not twenty five. He pitched a fit. AVOID.
The 12 times table huh? I'm more of a powers of two gal.
Hahaha, what about the Peruvian guy who brought me to a Chinese restaurant and though I only wanted a starter he insisted I get a main meal instead as he had a discount coupon he'd cut out of the newspaper. He then asked for a doggy bag and presented me with the leftovers for breakfast the next day.
Why are all the assholes we are coming up with men?
Because here anyway, it's a term used exclusively for men. Asshole women are referred to simply as bitches.
OOh! Sexy!
How about the date I went on, and the dude pulled out a coupon that he applied only to his portion of the bill? So even though I had driven quite far for that first (and only) date, he got off for less than I did.
That's a good one! What about the date I went on when the guy asked me if I'd ever thought of having a makeover:)
Very recognizable of those kids. But when I started telling my friends about my travels, they told me to stop talking because it made them jealous...
When I want a bit of practice sleeping with my eyes open I always ask my friends to tell me about their travels!
😅😅😅
#hive #posh