Forgive and forget


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There was a photo, unfortunately, lost in the mists of time, of me, my head in my hands, as I sat doing the accounts for my family’s corner shop business. My father had captioned the photo Despair! 20 grand owed to the bank.

So terrible was that moment that I no longer even remember it, its place usurped by a hundred other most terrible moments before and since. My mother toppling down the stairs after a thump from my father, my father’s girlfriend dying in my arms, my mother going up in flames in front of me after piercing a gas cylinder before an open fire, a neighbour calling to our house requesting I fetch my dear inebriated mother who had urinated on their sofa. The shame of it. I thought there could be no worse ignominy to be suffered until said mother appeared blotto at my classroom door.

If you get the idea that most of my worst moments somehow involved my parents, you’d be right, and the most terrible was the moment I realised the true extent of my father’s perfidy.

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I was in my early 20s, running a legal services business, when one of my more friendly solicitor clients called me to say that cheques he’d used to settle his account with me had been cashed in a pub, as opposed to being lodged in the normal way in my company bank account. I knew immediately that the culprit was my father. Who else would care so little about being caught that he’d steal cheques from me and cash them in his favourite watering hole? I’m not a person given to crying but when I went to his flat to tackle him and was met, not with remorse, but with ridicule and an enquiry as to whether I had any more money he could steal, I fled, weeping.

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It wasn’t the stealing that shocked me, I knew he was a rogue and a chancer. I once asked him according to what sort of moral code he operated, to which he replied ‘expediency.’ The shocker was that he was taking the cheques before they got to the accounts section so I was repeatedly billing clients for invoices they’d already paid, resulting in numerous queries and angry clients. That he cared so little about me that he’d endanger my business just for cash I would have given to him had he asked, that destroyed me.

Were there repercussions for my father? Well, I’m not one to hold a grudge, which is just as well since I cannot recall him ever apologising for anything, though he had plenty to be sorry for. Besides, another most terrible moment quickly followed when the Garda (police) Special Branch called to the office to interview me. But that’s another story.
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Posted in response to @galenkp's Weekend Experiences prompt asking 'Describe your most terrible moment in life, how you felt, what repercussions there were and how you moved forward from it.

Photos are my own

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Your family-of-origin stories are some of the very worst I have heard. Do tell another!

Hahaha, that's all of them now. I have no more. It's all fiction from here on in.

Fathers who are rogues...they seem to have a few traits in common: arrogance, a belief in their own superiority and exceptionalism. That you forgive is a gift to you, not him. Who needs to carry resentment around throughout life?

The word colorful is overused. If it weren't I would say we have yet another look into your 'colorful' youth.

Who needs to carry resentment around throughout life?

Exactly! I always forgive though I may not forget. Sure isn't revenge a dish best served cold:)

Fucking hell...

To quote Mephastophilis and one of my father's favourite lines 'Why this is hell, nor am I out of it.'

Was all of this hardship/terrible example setting really needed to make you such an amazing person? I guess so.

Hahaha, not hardship, character-building!
Do you think the commenter below (bisolamih) copied and paraphrased your comment?

Do you think the commenter below (bisolamih) copied and paraphrased your comment?

Sure seems like it.

'Character-building' indeed.
You have become quite the character ;<)

You have become quite the character

Right back at you, my friend;)

I too had a father that done more harm than good. Physical mostly although the emotional came later. God you have had some rearing, but you know what, it makes us shine all the brighter. xxxx

Hard times make hard (wo)men! We're as hard and as bright as diamonds:)

I bet you can deal with anything! That made you a stronger and lovely lady full of character! Life is pain and good times! Always remember the good, and it takes you out in dark times; keep loving. 💗😊xx

Absolutely.! Past hard times are just stories to me now. They've long ago lost their ability to hurt.

That would have been really tough on your side but how come you still end up being a very amazing person?

Did you get AI to paraphrase vincentnijman's comment or did you do it yourself? Since I'm such an amazing person, I'll give you an upvote for sheer audacity, but next time it'll be a downvote.

If this habit comes in our life then our life will be easy and we should not care about what people say and should work hard on our life.

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Sad? No, I don't think so. Bad perhaps. And as to my mental health, sure I'm the sanest person I know.