“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”
There is something that I have been working on within myself for a long while and still not yet entirely perfected. It's a daily practice that reminds me of the current day, where I am and who I am.
I have been trying to get rid of my regrets from my past. It is probably high up on the list of philosophical questions that stump people and make them stop in their tracks as the life reels play in their minds of things they did, experienced, endured through - that they would far rather remove entirely from their existence.
The past is part and parcel of who we are. Everything that we live through helps to create us as a person. It shapes our ways, thoughts and attitudes. It either helps to push us higher and make us better or on the contrary can be what makes the paint peel as we dissolve and let it tear us asunder.
Every person that walks has a past. We are all united in that and yet, not everyone carries regret with them over it. Perhaps that's the part where it gets tricky. Having to go through the box of regrets and simply be ok with how things happened. Not necessarily accepting that they were right or denying that they took place (that's impossible), but simply coming to terms with the fact that those happenings took place, that there is regret and then letting go of that feeling and coming to terms with it. There is no way to change it, but we can change how we feel about it.
I recently wrote a comment on a post about discarding all the material belongings that I've been lugging around with me from place to place more out of a need to not insult people who gave me gifts along the way. Things that have sentimental value and those that don't. I have a lot of stuff that I shouldn't still be carrying with me.
Perhaps the two go together. The day I wrote that comment I had already made up my mind that I was going to discard the whole lot. There's really no point in keeping a storage room filled to the brim with trinkets and gadgets if they are simply being kept to placate some outdated form of servitude to those that are not even alive anymore.
The minute that I made the decision, it literally felt like a huge weight had left me. I'm not sure if it was just the mental image of letting all that stuff go, or if it was the emotional feeling of relief from it - but it made a substantial impact.
Suddenly I was free to give items away, sell them, discard them and not feel ashamed about it.
I think I need to do the same with my regrets from the past. They served their purpose to educate me and lessons were learned from those instances; but are they still serving me well or are they too now a type of mental enslavement that I revisit and harshly criticize myself again and again for them? Surely this is not useful to moving forward successfully or to building up the self esteem I lost along that path to do better next time. How long do you have to berate yourself over the same mistakes?
Steve Maraboli got it right - they do not define who you are. Sure, they had their place in making you who you are, but your entire persona should not be entrenched in your regrets and there's no reason to continue reliving them. You made choices at the time with the information that you had at your disposal and would you make the same choices now? In some instances the answer might be yes - that means that even though you have regrets about what happened, you still made the right (albeit difficult) choice at the time. If you answered no, then it means that you've learned a lesson from it and that the regret can be acknowledged and then dismissed.
So this is the path that I am on now. A path where I can look back and acknowledge my regrets, but no longer let them have an impact on my here and now. I think that's empowering and quite liberating to know that I'll do better next time and I can finally let it go.
I think this is something we all have to do as you can't live otherwise. Long time ago someone said the pain had to be forgotten and not cultivated. It is not exactly what you say here, but even so, it is connected. We need to learn from our mistakes, then let it go as torturing ourselves forever for something that has already passed has no point.
You're a smart woman Emma and I'm glad you wrote this post as it is helpful not only to me but for others too. God bless you and I wish you good luck!
Thanks Erika, it's something that I try to remind myself of often, the things behind us are done, we need to move forward without it weighing us down. I hope you are having a lovely weekend, I appreciate your comment.
Yes the way we think, how we look at things, that is what shapes our lives. But we have the power to turn things around, just by changing the way we think about them. All the pain we when through, all the hurt, is really an opportunity for learning, for transformation even. Life is too short for regrets and we lose such precious time f we focus too much on what could have been. Life is all abut the here and now. To let go of the tings that have been dragging you down, you can thank them for their place in making you who you are, but let them go and embrace the wonderful person you have become @emma-h. Great post xxxxx
That's it, they have a place and we can be grateful for what they taught us but to let them drag us down endlessly seems futile as little can be done after the fact. If you need to make amends, then do so but not just to try rid yourself of regret, that's counterintuitive.
Thanks for your lovely comment @trucklife-family I hope we both can move forward more efficiently and continue to reach higher in the future 🌼
Hello friend @emma-h
I felt so good reading you. I always need to read words like these. The burdens we carry, although they may be of different dimensions and causes, unite us. We can see what there are several like us trying to let go of something 💞
I recently realized that the person who made a mistake "x" amount of time ago, is not the same person we are now. As you rightly say, if the answer is no it means we have learned. That is gain and experience. The past does not define us and that is gratifying 💟
A hug for you and for Mr. cat (to whom you give food 😻 😅)
Hi Purple Glitter
Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my post. That is a great way of looking at it, as we grow and develop, these experiences shouldn't carry the same weight as they once did and we evolve through all these happenings. It's important for growth but if it starts becoming negative to look back on these things and it causes pain, then it's time to release it.
Mr Cat is still visiting although less often, I think he may have found a few houses that are happy to feed him. I've decided he's going to be called Chorizo because he's spicy and full of attitude 😁
Thanks for your lovely comment, it's always appreciated 🦋
I love that name: Chorizo 😻 It made me laugh 😂 And I love eating chorizo. A hug for you @emma-h 💟
Thank you for the hug, I love hugs. I hope you are having a really wonderful week so far. At least the worst day of the lot is now behind us and this week feels like it's going to go quickly 🦋
Fantastic post. This really struck a chord with me. And it's made me realise that the only thing I should regret is holding on to old regrets. Many thanks !
Thank you so much, I was hoping that it would resonate with those that are feeling similar, so I'm glad you found value in it. Us humans are funny that way, we hold on to things for way too long that we really should let go of. Have a great day Hoosie.
You are right Emma, we live dealing with so many attachments and in the process, we all put a backpack on our backs that there comes a time when it no longer makes any sense to continue carrying so many material things, which at the right time fulfilled their mission of love, use, pleasure, whatever, but you have to let go and say goodbye, including people who do not add up in the now.
I think that remembering what has happened (good or bad), keeps me static, and prevents me from moving toward new projects and enjoying the things that have in the present and what is to come, so let go and trust.
Janitze ☮️
That's so true Janitze, it goes for people as well that are not on the same life path or journey as we may be now, I agree. Oh and yes, that feeling of being pulled down by our "stuff" is the worst enemy of creativity! I find that I am far more creatively amped after doing a good clean because then my energy is in the right space and there's more flow and freedom for me to think outside the box.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment! Have a beautiful day.
Letting go of limiting energies is an art of living and when we do it creates an infinite world of possibilities, my dear Emma.
Have the best possible day ☮️
Thank you so much and I hope you had a lovely one too.
Hugs from my land to where you are, Emma. Happy and splendorous beginning of the week.
execelente desicion @emma-h, free physical and emotional space, it is not easy to get rid of things, I've tried, but it is important that you are resolved, I congratulate you.
Thank you, yes it feels good to get rid of the stuff. I've been selling a few of the items already and the ones that don't want to sell I will donate to a local charity shop so that they can sell them and it will go to a good cause 🙂
Sometimes it is very difficult to let go of the regrets of the past, but it is necessary to move forward, in my case I did it and with the help of a good friend I could forget all the evil I did to those who loved me, of course it is not easy sometimes I remember it, but as you say it is vital to move forward.
I know that it's difficult but the lesser of two evils is letting it go I think. We can always acknowledge our wrongs, take ownership of them and then be sure to not repeat them further on. That's progress and evolution of self.
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