The purpose of having children has been misunderstood by many humans and it's one of the reasons why the world is what it is today. The world is running low on resources and this is a result of overpopulation, people do not know when to stop childbearing. This is not to condemn anyone, it isn't about being rich or not, it is beyond being educated or not because when the consequences of overpopulation come up, we will all have a price to pay individually.
There was a time when people had children to help them on the farm and that time is passed, the world has become unstable compared to what it was then and for this reason, childbearing should be reconsidered.
Many of us find children very important for the wrong reasons and I always say that if you aren't fit, don't go ahead.
I grew up knowing some superstitious beliefs, I have many times heard adults saying that having children opens ways for success, children come with good luck and as I grew, I asked myself questions like "Why are people still poor when they believe that children open way for success?".
A lot of things are not mandatory in life but society makes people feel like if you haven't done a particular thing, you have not existed. These societal standards have set limits and defined our existence even though they are wrong.
The truth remains that not everyone will get married, buy a car, build a house or even have children. These are decisions people make after thinking critically but the society makes them feel like they are on the wrong side of life. I have met people who don't want to have kids and they have valid reasons for that, I respect their decision because they are not pressured by society or allow themselves to be influenced.
The issue of childbearing has gotten really messy to the height where people go on and on just because they want a particular gender that they couldn't have. A child is a child regardless of gender and not having a particular gender shouldn't be an excuse to go on and on.
My parents got themselves in this situation and it becomes a huge issue in the long run. My mom had four boys and for the sake of having a female daughter, dad eventually got three daughters from another woman.
In response to the topic, I will choose to have a child and if my luck is huge then, a twin will be very much appreciated. My decision is as a result of many things you are about to read.
- I always loved kids all my life and definitely would love to have one under my roof as well. I feel great having them around me, their innocence, lifestyle and everything about them interests me except the bills and that's why it is unreasonable of me to get into it when I am not ready. The love I have for kids is not enough to bring them to the world to suffer, it is pointless having children when I can't cater properly for them. The world is in chaos already and bringing a child to suffer wouldn't speak well, I love children and when the time is right, the needful will be done with moderation.
There is a silly adage here that says, "Having just one child doesn't mean you are not barren". This can tell you the height people can go with stigmatizing people for only choosing to have just one child and regardless of what the world thinks, I wouldn't go beyond my capability. It isn't just about today, childbearing for me involves putting the future in my plans as well. What if the unexpected happens, what will be the childs fate? There are a lot of questions we need to ask ourselves and it's best if we don't turn a blind eyes to the truth.
- Children bring a different vibe to marriage, I want to have a product of myself and the woman I choose to spend the rest of my life with. We are two different humans bonded together by love and it won't be bad to have a replica of ourselves, a child having the combination of our genes.
Above all, the need to be properly prepared for the challenges attached to childbearing is very important. It requires more than just a wish, it needs full mental, physical, financial and also emotional preparedness.
At the moment, I am not 30% prepared because it wouldn't make sense for me to let my child go through everything I went through. It is my responsibility to give them a beautiful life which involves a conducive living environment, proper and valuable attention, proper education, feeding and a whole lot of other things.
Doing it at an inappropriate time will only create problems for the child and it would be unfair as a father to bring a child into an unstable world without helping them create the necessary balance ahead.
Whether to have a child or not, I respect everyone's decision but we must be honest with ourselves.
Falling under societal pressure, superstitious beliefs, trend and many other things when the challenges attached to childbearing begins, it will be just you and your partner.
This is my response to one of the Weekend Engagement Prompts by @Galenkp, feel free to share your thoughts about the post and also participate.
Thanks for reading.
Measured and well put together post man, that's for taking the time. A really nice example of what a little effort can produce.
Thanks for the compliment sir. Trust your weekend started pretty well?
Yeah man, went into the city for some shopping last night, not early Saturday morning, going to the range to shoot some guns and the rest will unfold from there.
Have a good one too.
I agree with a lot of your points and I think you have your head screwed on the right way.
This ultimately is what gets to me - not everyone is the same and we all have different views and life experiences. Nobody should be forced to have children because society deems it fit or to fit into some "perfect average".
The standard the society has set is making people with faint hearts make mistakes, they end up regretting and the society won't be there by then.
I have a friend in SA who doesn't want to have a child, she speaks about bringing a child to a shitty world is unfair, she can't take away the fact that someday, she will leave the child in the world to face the horrible challenges here.
Every one opinion regarding this issue should be respected, we all know what's best for us.
Thanks for the comment.
I think every parent or potential parent-to-be thinks about what the future would hold for their child, so I don't blame her at all. Society isn't great at the moment and shows all the hallmarks of decay, we just have to make the most of it I guess and try to make improvements where we can.
Gone are those days where one wants to do what people say or think of him. Every child is a child regardless of gender, you wouldn't want to bring in a life into this world and allow him suffer. Depending on one capacity, you decide how many children you can train and nowadays, no wise man bear plenty children..not anymore...I really love your viewpoint on this
Great post here
Thanks for the contribution, it is important that we know our capability before embarking on the journey of child bearing.
Indeed my dear ❤️
This is a well written piece and nicely thought out.
The decision to have or not have children is a very personal thing and should be thought through carefully and with a mind to all of the different angles that are involved. Bringing a child into the world shouldn't be done on a whim.
Becca 🌼
Thanks, Becca. The decision should be made after putting a lot of things into consideration. It is important that we are been honest with ourselves when making the decision.
You're welcome, it was a nice post and well put together, your thoughts in words I mean.
Becca 🌷
Child is the blessings of God and they cane to the world as a symbol of love between husband and wife( mostly). But giving birth is not the only responsibility of a parents. Take care properly of their children and give a better future is the responsibility of partners also. If they don't have the capacity to fulfill the responsibility the should not think about a baby. (My opinion).
I like your point, giving birth is really not a responsibility. The real job is catering for the child and it's best to stay away from it if we are not physically or mentally prepared for what's ahead.
It's my pleasure you liked my point as well as my thoughts about it.
That's the thing we need to think about before taking the decision to bring a new baby into this world.