Hey River; sorry to hear about your dad. That cancer conversation is never easy; for me, it was really not 'real' - my Dad had lung cancer four times, beating it three times for a full recovery, before the next - I suppose I became a bit neutral: medicine will always work.
And then, it didn't, but mastercised into brain cancer and a 'You have 2 weeks to live'. That was at the start of February. Went up that weekend, said goodbye. Didn't quite work out quite the way I wanted, it was dancing around the subject and not quite knowing what to say. A week later, got the chance to say it again - and it was exactly what I needed to be able to move into acceptance.
I wonder, if you ring your dad, then your son, whether it'd be worth ringing your dad back for the do-over. Honestly, was one of the most important second chances I've ever had, and may ever get.
Tim
I'm so sorry that you had that experience and didn't know what to say. We are all good - we did all of that when we though he was going to die in 2021. Talked our hearts out, cried - it was really beautiful and none of us felt there was anything unresolved or unsaid. We are all very lucky. A lot of good humour and love. Became closer as a family. Dad had all this worry and guilt about being a good Dad and honestly I could tell him he was the best Dad ever and how much I loved him and what a good, good man he was. A lot of peoople he didn't realise were good friends called and visited and let him knwo how important he was too, which suprised him. Then he recovered! So even if he all of a sudden goes tonight, we're all good - we are actually super cool! It's funny, NONE of us (mum, dad, my sister etc) feel the need to go over it again.
Again, my condolances and sadness and empathy to you . xxx Glad you have found acceptance.