I'm sorry for your loss and may your friend now rest in peace.
I'll go option two and what I would say to my 20 year old self.
*Stop being so hard on yourself, you're going to be OK. *
I know it isn't much, but through my late teens and early 20s I experienced a significant bout of depression. It's like my entire shitstorm of a life came rushing forward and hit me like a tonne of bricks. By that stage I had already experienced homelessness, extreme poverty to where I would go days without food, seeking support from friends. But so many times I felt like walking off from life because at every corner when I'd think I'd be at rock bottom I found another ledge to fall down too.
At 21 I was king hit in the face which literally caved my skull in and gave me an orbital fracture which required significant amount of surgery and plastics. Half my face is Titanium. It wouldn't be for another two years until I regained my muscle control and almost full function of my eye.
It wasn't for another 4 years later that I'd sign upto uni because I didn't have much else going on. 3 years after that at 30 is when life started to turn around only for 3 years later the pandemic to hit and what a shit show the past 2 years have been for everyone.
Life's a B!tch and then you die, as the saying goes.
Going back to age 20, sending warnings back... hindsight 50/50 would take too long.
Sounds like you had to endure a 'shit show' for quite a long run, picked yourself up by your bootstraps and here you are.
More balanced still knowing that life is a bitch and then we die, pity it's not smooth sailing for everyone, but that is how it is, not so?
!LUV
<><
@joanstewart, you've been given LUV from @melbourneswest.
Check the LUV in your H-E wallet. (1/3)
Yup, unfortunately. It is what it is and we make do with what we have. I always am shocked to hear of people with trust funds and enormous amounts of generational wealth. It's something I want to do for my kids and future generations.
I think alot of people don't plan for next gen and gen after I come across alot of people that focus on the now and the here and leave their kids out to make it on their own.
Hmmmm that gives me an idea about a post.
This sounds interesting...
Unfortunately not many after war years were able to come back and make a fortune, many parents who stayed behind did!
Leaving something for the children I also feel is a must, life is pretty hard locally with unemployment and excessively high numbers in younger grouping not working. If, as they plan to move, converting will not be much either!
Answer may lie in cryptocurrencies in the future, not quite there yet either.
Oh my goodness, I felt really emotional reading this... Life is surely not fair to some but we can't control who deals with life that way, we just have to be strong to go through it and be happy in the end.
I'm glad you didn't let depression win you over and you're getting better by every year. The pandemic hit everyone badly but it also has its positive effects, we should be grateful for that as well.
I hope your years to come become better than your 20 years time
Thank you, and please no need to be emotional I have done well and have two beautiful children and a loving partner and quite successful in this decade. Let's see what the next one brings.
Oh great, now I feel like jumping up in joy 😃 I love your story, it's so inspiring and I pray you keep enjoying what you couldn't back then. God bless your wife and kids also
Aww I'm just feeling happy right now 😊
Thank you :)
This all sounds pretty bad, well, having a titanium face would be pretty cool I guess, but not having to have it for the reason you did.
Being hard on ourselves is taught to most as children and by society along with other traits that hold us in place, the fear of failure for instance. I think it would be a good thing to go back and beat into your self as a 20 year old. Still, you worked out ok, probably through a lot of ownership and effort.
Pretty much, as the other saying goes when asked how you are Can't complain and if you do no one will listen to you anyway for most parts what we do with our lives is upto us. I have lost alot of friends along the way and I wish they were still here but unfortunately fate is as it is. What we do with what we're given is what defines the next day. I've always been one to not give up, I'll always find a way.
Doesn't always work or happen but I still try.
Falling in a heap but getting up and taking another step is all one can ask of oneself.
Yup, alot of people just give up or blame someone else
Laying blame is a national past time.
Yup, I think the current pandemic gives us a front row seat in it each and every day. Lol
I'm sick of hearing the word pandemic to be honest. You still in lo kdown in Melbourne? (I don't watch the news so don't know.)
I can't say I disagree! That sounds crazy cool! I am amazed at the medical technology available to us today.
I know right?
If I had a titanium face as a kid it would have saved mea lot of pain when I stacked my bike and landed on it. Titanium other parts might have been good too.
Wow. This feels somehow. The fracture in the head isn't an ordinary issue, it is as serious as it appears. But like you said, you have overcome the time when you have to worry much.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Thank you, yes time heals all wounds, even a hole in the head as it appears 🤣
My experience is, time doesn't really heal all wounds. But the process you go through during that time does. I am sure you will find so much peace in the future with a spirit like yours.
Thank you, that really means alot
I agree with you, not all wounds can be heal by time. I think along the way we just find better ways to deal with the wound.
I think so too. And I think we find better ways to heal them.
Yes, life is always like that but even so, we live because we want to. Although, there are still things we can do. Let's just keep holding on and don't lose that faith because that will be our strength in fighting this world.
Wow. Great story. There is no doubt my 20 year old self could have used the same advice.
I see this as a story of victory. My favorite line:
I am familiar with that concept. Sometimes I think we have more looking out for us than we realize. And you are on your way, my friend. You have come so far. At this rate, think where you'll be able to look back to in another 5 years. And the progress you surely will have made by then.
Wow, what a challenging life you've had, @melbourneswest. I'm so sorry for everything you have had to cope with! But you sound like a true fighter to me. I am inspired by you, and I'm sure others would be too.
I'm not sure what you do for a living, or for involvement, but have you considered helping young people in some way? So many disadvantaged kids go through some aspect of what you experienced, such as poverty, homelessness, self-loathing or depression. It's so good for kids to see that people went through what they are going through, and that there's a world beyond it, if you are committed to being a survivor. You have an amazing story.
Thank you, yes I worked in mental health then transitioned into law where I am now undertaking policy work. My wife is a nurse by trade but also a local councillor on local government and we work to address social and youth issues. COVID has been hard but we are working on it
That sounds like really important work, @melbourneswest. The kids and families really need that guidance and support.
Wow, you've been through a lot. I'm here wishing life would just give you a break. You are a strong person to have gone through all of that and still be standing today. It's not everyone who is able to go through all that and still be here, most don't have the strength to keep going.
I wish you better in the years to come.
This is one thing I told myself recently.
Don't be too hard on yourself, just do your best.
Oh really.. I never knew Titanium was used in plastics.
Everyone will be fine at last. I just hope we make the right decisions.
It's not unless you have an allergy to nickle which is found in steel so I got Titanium. Free upgrade 🤣
Good stuff mate, we need to be more easier on ourselves