Great job at this tricky poetic form. I have never tried one of these.
The spanish translation reads well. I know from experience that it is extremely hard to translate poetry, even when rhyme or metric is not an issue.
It occurs to be that maybe a 5-syllable word like "acorralados" (surrounded, corralled, enclosed) may do the trick as a last line, but again, I am not a hiku expert 😊.
hm. 5 syllable words as lines are really cool, but that one doesn't capture the passage of time I was going for. I thought better of my own last line when I put "escape" in the translator, but left it anyway.
Thanks for your thoughts! Give it a shot yourself. Sometimes they take me a full week to write, sometimes they just pop out. This one took a couple days of thinking about the photo, and popped out when I noticed the snow was melting in the sun.