Hello @cryptofi,
I like the story line very much. At its heart, the story has messages that are touching. One message is about judging people. We cannot judge them, because we don't know anything about their experiences. Another message is about the wonder a child brings to something new, something that might seem ordinary to others. Through a child's eyes, the world is a vivid exciting place.
I think the story would be so much improved, and therefore be more effective, if you followed @jayna's advice. I look forward to reading stories from you in the future that reflect your use of the recommended resources.
By all means, keep writing and sharing your perspective on the world with all of us.