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RE: Castles in Whose Air

in The Ink Welllast year

Hello @manouche,
What a wonderful story! A grand debut in the Ink Well community. You draw us into the scene so vividly. The motivation of the characters clear. You can write! :)

I was delighted to see references to hip hop/break dancing, and also to find your connection to dance described with such effect.

The last line is perfect:

Anokhi watched her brother on the big screen in his dressing room and smiled, "But it should have been me”.

The complexity of emotion is captured there. We can rejoice in someone's success and yet have a lingering sense of our own loss. This complexity makes the character relatable.

Thank you for finding the community and posting your story here. Welcome!!


Thanks for reading, @agmoore! It is because of you that I found The Ink Well! The hip-hop reference did come from our conversation - I wrote much of this piece that day! I'm happy to see that the complexity of Anokhi's emotion comes across - I imagine her enthusiasm to build worlds extends to the people around her as well. The kind who can look at someone, identify with their passions and immediately make a world for them, with her in it, of course. In this case, she's still in it but feels outside of it.

Excited to have written this for The Ink Well and it's been really heartwarming to interact with the community too!

I found a picture of my daughter doing what she calls a hollow back frieze. From her hip hop dance days. She said she used to just hang out in that position :)) You can see why she might have trouble with her shoulders now

col for manouche.jpg

Oh my!!! To be able to use your body in that way! I guess that's the price for those troubled shoulders. What a fascinating pose!