I've never been adventurous in my whole life. I'm a timid and reserved girl who would be in the corner reading books than hanging out with groups. Who can pull me out again? I hated coffees and alcohols. I am the most picky with foods. I get sensitive and tend to cry over petty things. I hate long walks around the town carrying shopping bags. I don't fit for gym workout in weekends. And out of all, I'd hate me even more at being hated for these unusual habits.
Then Ravier Flynn came to be the top hater of them all.
He's a ball of fire. He burns boredom. He's a bit bully. He hates my habits. He hates my life. He always has a say on everything about my boring life.
"Are books the most important thing in your life?" He scrunched his eyebrows showing how unbelievable I am. "Boring." He smirked.
"And why do you care?" I complained with my eyes mad at him. He shook his head.
The other day he approached me at the cafeteria to find out I'm a vegan and convinced me to try the other foods. I told him those foods make me sick, and he looked at me disappointed.
The other week he neared on me in the corner to mock me for being left out by the girls who went out together for mall. I told him this is my life, I don't fit in their lifestyle.
He hates me for having no thrill in life, he gets irritated when he saw my eyes envy their lives but I don't even try to get the best out of my life. He says I'm missing a good life. That was calm but his words cut deep in my heart. It provoked something that blocked on my throat and I saw him blurry from my eyes, watching me wipe my tears with my hands. That day, I cried.
"Hop in." Ravier's wrangler stopped by. I scrunched my eyebrows with my whole face expression saying I am mad at him. "And why? You hate me and I want you to know that I hate you more." I glared at him. "I have to pay for making you cry."
He allowed me to say it all, where the grudges and anger I felt toward him was coming from and why it hurts me cuz I can't do anything about it and how I hate me more when people hate me from being different, until it subsided. "I'm sorry." His eyes say it all, the guilt, the shame and the regret.
I hate holding grudges in from anyone so I hopped in to let him pay the price, hoping that after this ride, it'll gonna get better between us. He admits he was a jerk and told me not to feel bad about what he said. He tried to enlighten me, telling me he's also timid and a reserved guy who has worse odd habits. I snorted out in disbelief and he laughed about it.
This felt like first time in my life, laughing with somebody; seeing them happy with my presence. I looked at him amused and I felt tingles for the first time. The whole world stopped for a while seeing him with the sparkles in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" And his voice woke me up from slow motion. "Yeah! I-I just saw sparkles and they're just fascinating." I looked away and tried to hide how bothering was the thumping of my heart.
"So you like sparkle." He took a glance of me. "Yeah." I scrunched my eyebrows and masked a cranky face trying to hide an emerging smile on my face. That's his eyes, he has no idea. "Do you want to see more?" He looked at me. "Mhm." I couldn't fight my smile with my eyes amused, agreeing, without him knowing that those were in his eyes. "Then I'll take you there." He looked at me calmly with tendered eyes. He looked away, but I felt his emotion in those eyes. There's eagerness on it. And I felt a thrill.
"We've made it to Jervis Bay, Dawn! See that!" He said cheerfully.
"Wow. And, where are the sparkles, Ravier? You scammed me." I teased him when I found nothing but still amused because I love the beach, the sound of the waves, the chirping of the birds, and the heat of the scorching sun.
"We'll see them at night. We're camping here, Dawn." he opened his car with his eyes still on me. "Okay, this is great, Ravier. I like it here!" Got carried away to hum from amusement, and I started to go under the scorching sun to feel the sand.
The night is fascinating. I witnessed the bioluminescent sparkles of waves with dropped jaws and amused eyes. He sat by my side and made me lie on his lap, like a pillow on my head. We watched the neon blue waves together, with the bright stars up in the sky, and warmth of bonfire by the shore. We talked about our dreams and favourite things.
That unplanned ride was our kind of glue. It made us stuck closer, making goals together.
We made bucket lists everyday like everything is temporary — spending sunsets in Jervis Bay listening to our favourite songs, shutting lights at night for tearjerker movies, locking doors for warm kisses, and started getting drunk making love at midnights.
He makes fruit juices for me, and it felt refreshing. He cooks different recipes of healthy foods for me, and I loved each of them. He treats me like a fragile base, and I felt so safe. He gives me piggy back rides as we go for groceries around the town, and it felt embarrassing but he told me to have fun on it. He accompanies me for brisk walking in weekends, and I embraced that habit. And out of all, he made me love the things I hate about myself and I fell in love for him more everyday.
Nothing is certain in life. We are never sure what lies ahead. But who cares now? Somebody came to make my days count, letting me live my life like tomorrow will never come. He taught me to live without regrets, and to love without limits.
"I love you." He kissed my forehead, holding me tight into his arms. "I love you, infinitely." I gave him a bitter smile, knowing that my life is nearing an end. "You will get through this. Promise me you'll stay alive, and you're still gonna go far, Dawn. You're gonna see all the fascinating sparkles you love to see." He scrunched his eyebrows bitterly to prevent his tears from falling. "I wanna see them with you, so I will try my best, Ravier. I promise." I started sobbing in desperation while he's caressing my back. He stayed with me upon enduring on the days of my functional limitations.
It was bittersweet.
I was sick, but I didn't know he also is. I had operable heart disease while he had hopeless brain tumor.
It was his dream to give his whole heart to the woman he cherish, so he made it. I stayed alive carrying his sacrificial love inside me. He sacrificed the rest of his remaining lifespan to extend my lifetime, giving his physical heart transplanted on mine.
I never thought my dreams would shatter instantly. Tight lump in the throat, swollen eyes and nose; loss and grief. Tears and sorrow was my painful tomorrow.
He came to make me realize the full definition of his love. It was warmth, sacrifice, and infinite bittersweet memories.
♡ - CS
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I only have Twitter, but I barely open it.
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I'd like to ask. How did you find out about Hive?
I am really sorry for that, I'm not really using my social media much. But, I found out about hive on twitter from traciyork writer, so I explored on the platform, and it's great for writers. :)
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Thank you so much for welcoming me, though I had mistakes I'm still welcomed here to get to know the community more, so I'll edit this right away, I'll be more careful next time about the tags and photos, and I'll engage more with other members. I'm grateful to be part of the writers at The Ink Well!
[I am truly sorry it takes so long, just waited for my RC to be available before I can reply to you]