Love over coffee

in The Ink Well3 years ago

A family once lived in a town called Hive. The man owns a fertilizer company and his wife work in a bank and they had a lovely kid named "Juliet" who attended Hive community primary school in Chicago's island.

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This is a charming and very enjoyable story, @danladi. Juliet and her father have a wonderful relationship, and both seem to learn from one another. You have done a nice job of sharing the world from the child's perspective.

It's great that you are open to feedback on your writing. One thing that is confusing is the word "pills." It's not clear what that word means. In English pills are supplements or medicines, like something you take when you are sick or have a headache. So you are probably looking for a different word.

We do have many articles that provide writing tips. You can find all of them in our Catalog of Fiction Writing Tips. In particular, if you are translating to English from another language, a helpful article is Help for the Grammatically Challenged. There are suggestions for finding grammatical and spelling errors.

Oh, also please be sure to add a link to your photo sources. Thank you.

You seem to have a natural story telling style, and that is a great foundation. Good luck with your writing!

I love the simplicity of your story. Keep up the great work.

The message was short and simple. Beautiful father-daughter relationship. It conveys sweetness and love.
At the end the daughter understood and verified with real facts what her father was saying.
Beautiful message for everyone.