The Ink Well Prompt #26: Honeymoon in the woods

in The Ink Well3 years ago

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Source (https://unsplash.com/ )

When life smiles at you, Smile back. But when it frowns at you. ....

Mr and Mrs John were just newly wedded and looking for the perfect spot for their honeymoon. The wife who was just as anxious as his husband refused every location brought to them by family and friends.. Not so long. An idea came to her mind.
"Honeymoon in The woods!!!! Who does that?? " asked the husband who was very much shocked on the kind of suggestion his wife is bringing.
"Yes!! .. The most romantic honeymoons happens in the woods. Where you live in a tree house, go to the zoo, pleasure parks and take a boat tour in the streams nearby. There are a lot of locations designated for that" she said.
That was actually the first time i heard anything like honeymoon in the woods. But anyway.. lets see what these couples are up to.
Few days later, the couples successful arrived at the park. They were given a brief orientation on where to go and where not to go during their stay in the woods. They were alocated their own tree house. Just as described by the wife. It was actually a romantic one. The husbands who was aganist the idea started enjoying the place.
Few days later, the couples were now feeling like they've known everywhere around the park except for one place "the no go area"
"Maybe we could give it a try. Lets see what they are hiding" said the wife.
"Didn't you hear the tour master. People that went there never came back"
"Forget it dear. They are just trying to scare us. See how beautiful and fruitful those gardens are. What could possibly be wrong there" said the wife.
After much arguments , the couples decided to give it a try.
They made their way into the restricted area on a very cold night. History has it that the area was abandoned because of the old stories of dark power hovering around it at night. The area used to be a community. But they were sent into annihilation by God knows what.
These two lovely couples entered the garden to satisfy their growing curiosity. There were also two other couples who joined them after.

They reached to somewhere that looks like the middle of the garden but noting has happened sofar. The couple decided to take a rest. But before they could close their eyes. There was a sudden strong wind. And one of them went missing.
"The breeze! It took my husband.. Patrick!!! " cried the woman.
Everybody became scared. They wanted to go back but they kept moving in circles with every route bringing them back to the middle of the garden. The wind came again and took another man. This made Mr John so scared as he was the only man remaining.
"We are stuck in this garden" one of the ladies said.
"We were warned but we didn't listen" said mr John. After series of arguments the continued on the winding roads to nowhere.
Hours turned to days. Till Mr John and his wife were the only ones left. They laid on the road side waiting for their death to come because they were tired walking. Few minutes later, the park Master came to them and showed them the way out..
"Congratulations!!! You have been awarded the bravest couples this year" he said as he hands over the trophy to them. It was all a game. There was no such thing as the community filled with ghost. It was all a game. Even the couples taken by the wind were actually planned. Though nobody has won the bravest couple trophy for years. We managed to break that history..

Like i was saying before.. If life frowns at you.. Get up and fight.

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This is really good. You avoided a cliched ending. It seemed the couple would end in a never ending road, or would disappear forever mysteriously. But no. It's just a game.

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I enjoyed your story, @divplanet. It had all the classic touches: warnings that are foolishly ignored; disappearing people; strange and exotic place. However, the resolution was a surprise. The story did not deliver an expected message. It was different, original. Writing should always deliver something original to the reader.

Good job!

What a beautiful story, @divplanet It's original and interesting. You play with beautiful images like the newlyweds in a tree house. Also with the human feeling of disobedience. The forbidden becomes interesting, it has always been like that. And in the end, instead of being penalised, courage and freedom of judgement are rewarded.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

What a delightful and creepy story, @divplanet. I thought of Adam and Eve, and other classic stories in which warnings are ignored. It seemed certain that a terrible fate of some kind awaited Mr. and Mrs. John. But the story delivers a surprise ending instead, and they are awarded for their bravery. I did not see that coming!

Welcome to The Ink Well. Be sure to read our community rules on our home page, and see the resources available to our writers. We have a catalog of writing tips to help writers improve their skills. One that I recommend for you in particular is Help for the Grammatically Challenged, which provides tools for checking your writing for errors before posting.

Thank you for joining our community. I hope you continue to bring us your imaginative work!

I felt so much relief -- GENERALLY, these stories end badly for people who go into the forbidden zone -- but, sometimes, it is just a learning experience ... good for Mr. and Mrs. John, who stayed brave! Well done!

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 3 years ago (edited) 

Hello @divplanet. You have an interesting story in that a couple decides to spend their honeymoon in a wooded area. That is unusual a setting. You describe the wooded area nicely. Usually mysteries start off as normal. The situation allows you to relax and not expect anything to happen. Once you let your guard down, then you experience the real happenings that sometimes don't work out for the best.

I like your story and that you included other couples in it. The fact that those couples seemed to have an early unknown fate makes for the mysterious place to become an even more evil setting. It unnerves the couple in that now they truly begin to wonder if their decision to have their honeymoon there was the right one.

I'm happy they made it out in the end. Unexpected conclusion in that it was all a game. If any one of the couple had a medical condition, the outcome may not have been happy. Your ending also told something of the couple's relationship. No matter what happened, they stay together until the end. This is a also a bit of underlying forecasting maybe of their future together. They will probably work as a team to find a solution....or die trying.

Welcome to The Ink Well Community.

I wanted to suggest two items I feel would benefit you as a future author:

SOURCING:
When sourcing any images you include in your stories, linking directly to the image is a good way to avoid any problems. The link you provide guides your reader to the front page of the site for UNSPLASH.com. You can edit your post to include this information.

READABILITY:
I feel that the informational posts provided by The Ink Well Community is the perfect place for helping authors become better storytellers. Please take a look when you get a chance. The grammar resources would be especially good for you to consider.

Thanks for sharing your story. Have a good week ahead, and take care.