In the history of well-intentioned writing aphorisms, the only piece of advice that gets used more than “write what you know” and “kill your darlings” might be the ever-popular “show, don’t tell.”
Show, don’t tell is an approach to writing in which stories and characters are conveyed via actions, thoughts, words, and sensory details — instead of cold, factual exposition.
While the true origin is disputed (some point to Percy Lubbock’s 1921 book, The Craft of Fiction), popular culture has attributed it to Russian writer Anton Chekhov and his (commonly misquoted) line:
Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.
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On one hand I wish there was more written, but on the other I kinda understand it. It's often we come across that event that leaves us struck and feel something missing which I guess adds to how short this is.
Great post.
Thank you for supporting this author!
Thanks, I am trying to fit in more of these into my schedule. But my life is kind of a mess.
Thank you for making the effort. I hope your life becomes more peaceful, soon.
I wouldn't have gotten it if it wasn't well written.
Great piece with a strong introductory paragraph. I liked this line in particular.
"Her cheeks reveal her dimples whenever she smiles."
I really like this line...BUT... My only critique of it is that it changes the tense from past to present. I do this all the time when my writing is flowing.
I prefer this line written in the present tense, but I don't know if others more knowledgeable of grammar & style have a different opinion.
Thanks @litguru, for your encouragement of this author and for your astute comment. It is true that switching tenses in the middle of a story can be problematic.
Great story and excellent reminder that beauty isn't limited to landscapes or works of art but can be be found anywhere - even a passing moment.
Thank you for supporting this author, @one-eye, and for making such an encouraging comment.
Nicely done vignette. You did such a nice job of describing this stunning woman, and how mesmerized the main character is by her. Because you described her appearance in depth, it is quite believable that he would lose track of time.
Well done, @dwixer. We've given your post a kiss from curie! Congratulations!
Hi @dwixer,
A charming blend of humor and infatuation. He is entranced by the beautiful young lady, and yet recalls the maxim: punctuality is a virtue.
Your description of the lady is quite vivid. We can see her and understand why the narrator is so taken. Perhaps the beginning of a relationship, if fortune favors him?
You did not use the word 'beauty' but conveyed it perfectly. Good job!
Corto, pero denso, sugerente y conciso... La solapada contraposición tiempo - belleza atrapa. Buen relato @dwixer
What a charming story! Stanley was quite enchanted by the lady's beauty. You did a great job vividly describing her beauty. I wished the story did not end there.. Would have loved to know more. I could sense a connection between Stanley and the pretty lady. Impressive. ☺️🍀
Nice job describing the girl. It happens to all of us when we stare at a spectacular woman, even her beauty can affect our mood and our perception of time.
Beauty idealised by the eyes of the beholder, @dwixer. Love at first sight .
Hello @dwixer I like your story of a chance encounter with an alluring woman. Your description of the young woman is nicely done. I can visualize her walking past him. She does leaves an impression on your character that causes him to block out his presence of mind in adhering to his work schedule.
I agree that your change of tense in the middle of describing her changes the entire paragraph from the event that happened earlier in the day.
Thanks for sharing your story.