A New Dawn
"How many times will I tell you to keep out of my room?" Nana shouted at John who entered her room without a knock.
"Am sorry big sis," John quickly apologized and remained where he stood motionless, his eyes facing the ground.
"Oh, Keep the sorry for yourself," Nana stood up from the bed and opened the door. "If you don't mind, can you excuse me?" She added.
With teary eyes and a long face, John walked out of the room and headed to the sitting room where his parents were seated.
"She wouldn't let me stay with her," John lamented to his mother.
"Come on dear, it's fine, me and dad are here for you okay? Besides I told you not to bother Nana, but you won't listen. You are a big boy now, She might not have time for you as it used to be," Come here," Mrs Maggi cuddled John.
"But babe, don't you think this is getting out of hand?" Our girl has been acting weird lately, shutting us out even her younger brother whom she loves so much," Peter said to his wife, Maggi
"Honestly, it's weird but you know young people, let's give her time, I am sure she will get over it. Meanwhile, we won't relent, we will keep doing our best to find out what's wrong," she replied.
Peter turned and looked at Maggi, "You know I didn't make a mistake when I made the decision to marry you right?" He teased her.
"You've started again, Peter. Any woman could have been like me, you know," she responded
"No, not all, my baby is special, I know what I have," he replied, and they both laughed and continued watching the program shown on the TV.
Since Nana returned from school on Thursday, she has been acting strange. Someone who loves spending time with her parents suddenly loves solitude.
She is always in her room, most times on a headphone, playing music or crying, she only comes out to get her meal and go back inside. All effort to get her to talk by her parents proves abortive.
Her brother John has to stay away from her because of how harsh she has become lately.
The next morning, Peter and Maggi went to Nana's door and knocked but she refused to Open up, when they got tired of waiting they left and came back after some moment, "we know you are in there baby, just open up please," Peter said while knocking but she won't say a word. When they noticed their efforts were useless they left and let her be.
The next time they came to the door, a white cardboard paper was placed on it with the writing, "Please, keep out until further notice." It gave the parents much concern but they had to take it slow with her.
On Monday the following week, Nana woke up and got prepared for school as early as possible while she was about to open the door to step out of the house without informing anyone, her mom was right behind her watching how she was stressing herself to sneak out.
"Baby girl, what do you think you are doing?" Maggi asked.
"Oh my, gosh," Nana shuddered, holding her chest. "Mom, you startled me."
"No greetings, no breakfast, what's wrong with you honey?" Mrs Maggi added.
"Mom, I have a 7:00 am class, I don't want to be late, please, if you don't mind excuse me," Nana replied, trying to walk out.
"Baby," Mrs Maggi drew closer and held Nana by the hand. "I am your mother, it hurts to see you this way. It's been four days since you started acting this way, can you talk to me? Everyone is worried about you, Honey," Maggi responded.
"Mom, he broke up with me," Nana burst into tears hugging her mom so close. "After all I invested into the relationship, Jason still left. I am so hurt Mom, I can't help it," She replied, crying uncontrollably.
Jason and Nana have been dating since their final year in high school. They cherished each other and planned to marry after college even though his parents weren't in support of the relationship, Nana and Jason both fought and kept the relationship going.
For two years, they have been without issues until recently, he started showing her attitudes, and she tried all she could to get him back to who he used to be, to no avail.
She later discovered he was cheating and when she confronted him to express her grievance, he decided to break up with her publicly at the school premises on Thursday morning.
"Come on my girl, is that it?" Maggi asked as she dragged her into her room. "It's okay honey, it's okay. I know how much you have invested into your relationship and I must confess, I am proud of you, not every young lady like you can be that enduring.
Yet, I want you to know that Life is unpredictable, nothing is really assured. The fact that you invested so much into a thing doesn't automatically make it yours. But those things that are ours will always find a way to get to us. So cheer up, breaks are normal in relationships, and sometimes they even happen for good.
So, move on, keep out the past and the old memories okay?" Mrs Maggi encouraged Nana.
"You know what mom? Nana sniffled, I love you. You are the best. Sorry, I have Been keeping you, Daddy, and John out, I just couldn't help it."
Ah, Maggi exclaimed, "I understand, I was once like that too. So, can you smile for mommy now?" Mrs Maggi requested.
"Mom, really, in this condition?" Nana asked laughing, wiping her face with her palm.
"Now that's my girl," Maggi replied.
Hem, Mr Peter cleared his throat, behind the door, "You guys are busted, you know. I and John heard all you said," he confessed as he opened the door and hugged them on the bed.
Together, the parents encouraged her and she became strong, she had to miss her class that day to enjoy the company of her family.
Nana heeded her Mom's advice took a break from relationships and focused on her studies. She later graduated and found Danny, who became the love of her life, they got married and lived happily ever after.
Haha. This is noice, Sir Emreal. Hehe. Breakups can be really too much to handle, especially when you've invested your all into it. Thankfully, Nana has wonderful parents and a little brother who cares so much about her.
That's true, I hate break ups too. But we can't avoid it can we? Hhehe, the young lady was lucky, her parents were one of a kind. Thanks so much for reading ma.. I missed someone 😁😁
It can't be avoided, especially when it is meant to occur. Yes, she surely was. Wow, really? More enquiry on the "Someone?" Hehe
Hehehe, the someone is my big aunty.. miss balikis95
Happy ending story. 😊 @emreal
Thank you for stopping by 🥰🥰
You're welcome. @emreal
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All good @emreal! You have what it takes to achieve this new goal on Hive! Keep it up!
Hi @emreal, it's a good story, thank goodness Nana, she listened to her mom's advice and ended up being happy with Danny, after overcoming her situation.
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Thank you so much too, am so happy to have you around 🥰
Your story unfolds through the use of some nice dialogue. Going through a break-up is an incredibly hard thing to do and Nana understandably just wants to be left alone to mourn the loss. It's commendable that her mother approaches the situation with such empathy and care (this showed through her voice and actions in your story), and that her family gather around in support when they hear what has happened.
I would have liked to have seen more show than tell in your story. I think you could have used Nana's actions, expressions, body language, senses etc to show her emotional state and this would have created a bit more balance and interest. Take a look at this article from The Ink Well for some guidance in this area. show don't Tell.
Also try to avoid the happily ever after line, and the temptation to extend a complete story unnecessarily. Your last sentence introduces a brand new character and summarises the rest of Nana's life. Sometimes less is more.
Thank you for writing in the Ink Well. We look forward to your next contribution.
Thank you so much for the extra tip and correction, I will work on that. Lest I forget, a biggest thanks for the support
Are you Ghanian?
The name "Nana" caught my attention
Hehehe, I am not but a lover of the place though 🙈
Oooh...
I see
I have a friend that goes by the name .
Wow!! You are Ghanaian?
No,I'm a Nigerian
Heart break and betrayal is the worst sha. Having your family around is one sure way to move on 🙂
That's correct ma, I hate it too. With a good family around, the pain won't be felt much
Oh no, heartbreak really hurt, but eventually she will be fine, what a beautiful story you've got here.
That's the beauty, no matter how bad we wound, getting healed is sure. Thanks for showing up ma
Such lovely parents. If only real African moms can be like this..sigh!
A good story dreamer❤
#dreemerforlife
Hahahaha, they can. It can begin from you❣️😊
No matter how much you invested in a relationship, if it isn't meant for you, there's nothing you can do. When one experiences break ups, the other party isn't meant for them, though it is hard but someone will come for them who will cherish them forever. I love how her mom encouraged and adviced her. Some mothers wouldn't do such but yell at them which is wrong.
#dreemerforlife
You are right, investing so much in a relationship doesn't make it automatically yours. In the end what will be, will be. The mother was very helpful, she was so lucky to have her.
Thanks for reading ma 🥰
What a mother! Or should I say what a family? Because, damn! I love the union between them.
Hehehe, I think the last one would be better 😊
Thanks for reading through