“What is it?” I jumped out of my bed and headed for the door without hesitation.
My elder sister was rolling helplessly on the ground and screaming at the top of her voice. Two of our female neighbors were trying to calm her down to no avail.
“Sorry for your loss,” a man standing by held my hand firmly and whispered.
“Loss, keh?” My heart skipped, my stomach tightened, but I swallowed hard and I walked past him to my sister, “Esty, what happened?” I asked gently, trying raise her from the floor.
She looked at me and cried the more without saying a word.
My body began to shiver. “What is happening here?” I ran into the parlor and behold, it was crowded, my aunt was beside my mother, whose face was swollen and littered with tears.
I looked around, and everyone was present, but our father wasn't. “What happened? Where is Dad?” I asked, still moving my eyes across the room.
“I am sorry honey, Dad is no more," she said and hugged me tightly.
"How come?" I shouted.
Motor accident, oh, accident, Emreal. She replied and began to cry loudly.
Hearing that, I completely lost it, I burst into tears, and we wept together.
My Dad's demise was a shock to everyone, and for me especially.
We were together the night before the accident. He doesn't look like someone who wanted to receive the glorious call at the moment. I can still see the smiles on his face; they were full of love and beauty.
What hurts me the most is the fact that we were not too close while he was alive. He tried all he could to become friends with me, but I was not free with him; now it's just regrets and pains.
After his burial, activities resumed, and even my mother was strong enough to resume her business and move on, but I couldn't.
I was working in Jos at that time. I just came back home for the weekend, the day before the incident.
Everyone got back to their normal life, but I was stuck at home. I used to be jovial and playful with my siblings and mother, but it all changed.
I suddenly became someone who locks himself in the room and doesn't want to talk to anyone.
I was lost in pain and wishes, each day, I felt like time could be turned; I just wish I could have the opportunity to be close to him.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I would wake up and begin to weep aloud.
My boss kept calling, but I have been neglecting his calls.
I know he wanted to ask when I am resuming, it's been like two months after the burial already, but I was not just ready for anything.
Because of me, my siblings hid all our father's pictures. Each time I saw them, I began to cry, and it was a cause for concern for the entire family.
One afternoon, I was lying in my room when my mother knocked, “Emreal, Emreal,” she called after a few knocks at the door.
But I remained quiet because I didn't want to talk to anyone.
“I know you are in there, please open up, my dear.” She insisted and remained there.
I hissed, and finally opened the door.
“Good afternoon, mommy.”
“May I come in?” She asked.
“No, Mom,” I answered emphatically.
She looked at me and smiled, “Please,” she pleaded.
I sighed, letting out a deep breath, “Okay.”
She sat on the plastic chair beside my bed.
“What is happening to you?” She asked after some minutes of silence.
“Nothing, Mom,” I adjusted on the bed, resting my back on the wall.
“I know you miss your father. I know you wish he were around. We all wish so and don't forget he is my husband too, but we can't remain in that spot forever,” she replied.
I let out a deep breath and put my head down.
“Emreal, you are killing yourself. Prior to your Dad's death, you were a young man full of dreams, but you are throwing them all away now. Do you think your Dad is happy wherever he is, seeing you stuck in this state because of his departure?” She asked and paused, looking at me without blinking her eyes.
“No, Ma,” I answered.
I stayed quiet for some time, then said, “I feel lost, I am scared, I am troubled, and I missed him.”
“Your siblings and I felt the same way, my dear, but we have all moved on, except you,” she responded.
“Mom, I can't forgive myself for not being close to him while he was alive. The memories of days I treated him badly are haunting me,” I hugged my pillow and burst into tears.
“Sorry, my dear,” my mother left the chairs and cuddled me. “I understand how you feel, but it is not your fault, okay?”
“No, Mom, it was my fault. I should have given him the chance to be the kind of father he wanted to be to me.”
“My dear, I was also not so close with my father while I was young, but I had the opportunity to do things right. Life didn't give you that privilege, but it is not supposed to be a punishment; but a lesson for you. Instead of wallowing in pain and beating yourself, let this teach you the relevance of having a good relationship with your loved ones.”
“Thanks, mom,” I sniffled.
“It's fine Emreal, I guarantee you that your father is not mad at you and he loves you. But if you continue this way, he definitely won't be happy with you. Be strong for me and your siblings. Seeing you happy and moving to the next chapter of your life will make us all happy once again.”
I put my head down, colliding my legs slowly, “I appreciate this, Mom, thanks a lot,” I replied, barely raising my head.
After the conversation with my mother that afternoon. I decided to turn a new leaf in my life. I reflected on the last two months of my life, and it was like I was wasting away.
No job, no happiness, no fun, I was just stuck in a void that I couldn't explain.
A few days later, I called my boss and asked if there was still a vacancy, and he told me to resume the following week.
I told my mother about it, and she was very happy. I started uniting with the family again. I personally asked my mother to bring out all our father's pictures that she had hidden because of me, and she did.
I regained myself gradually, and it was even easier when I traveled back to Jos to resume work.
It's funny how time flies and heals all things when we are ready to give it a chance. Nowadays, I only smile when I think about my Dad. Instead of pain, it gives memories, memories that remind me to love and cherish my loved ones while I still have them.
N.B: All Images Were Generated By Meta AI
I know how hard it can be to lose someone you love, but also how time can help us heal.
I like that your mom helped you see that your father wouldn’t want you to stay sad forever.
Sometimes we don’t realize how important people are until they’re gone, but this story makes me want us to love my family more while I still can. Thanks for sharing.
Omooo I can relate, the loss of a loved one isn't easy but it makes you stronger and more responsible at the end of the day
Emreal's mother called her because, since her father died, she had locked herself in her room. After her mother advised her, she understood that she shouldn't take that position. Have a good night.