This story has a lot of promise.
There was something that didn't quite make sense to me (but perhaps I misread it?).
It seems from the opening sentence that Damien might have been unconscious (Betty tells him to "stay with her" and also tells him that she called the police. But then Damien tells Betty that the police called, asking where they were. When did Damien answer Betty's phone? Where was Betty? In the story, she doesn't seem to have left his side.
Beth gasped.
“It’s the police. They want to know where we are.”
That is actually Beth's line. I'm sorry I didn't indicate.
As for the opening line, it seems Damian passed out spraining his ankle in the process.
I'm sorry I did not indicate that too.
Thank you for reading. 😊
Ah, that makes more sense!
Some nice imagery in your story.
Well done. :)
Thank you very much. 😊