I felt as if my heart had burst out of my chest; it couldn’t contain my dread.
The walls of the bathroom in my brother’s house seemed to amplify my noise. I looked at my tear-stained face in the mirror and tried to calm myself. I splashed cold water through my tears.
"Get yourself together. You have to go back out there and face her. You can’t let her see your fear. You can’t let anyone see your fear. Fear is contagious." Of course, the mirror didn’t bother to offer me a solution. So, I fixed my face and went back to take my seat next to Jackie with a smile on my face.
We were sitting in the garden. Chairs facing the sun. A sparkling blue swimming pool added glitter to the atmosphere. It was a typical South African summer’s day, perfumed by a sense of celebration and the fire of the braai (barbecue).
My brother knows how to throw a party, and my sister-in-law’s family (extensive) and my family (small) were enjoying the benefits. The mood was festive, and the wine was on tap. But I felt out of sync with my thoughts on Jackie and what she’d just told me. The celebrations seemed inappropriate and out of place.
Over a series of family parties, I found that Jackie, my sister-in-law’s cousin, and I had much in common. We’d go off together and smoke "secret" cigarettes out of my sister-in-law’s line of sight—she’s banned smoking anywhere on her premises. We had so much in common; conversation flowed; the affinity was connective; she could finish my sentences, and when she did, we’d laugh up a storm. She was fun, offered reflective insight and was a ball of energy. Her aura was fierce.
On this particular day, at this particular party, she’d just told me that her oncologist had given her a six-month death sentence. Her mother and I were her only confidantes. The news made the sun too bright, the music too loud, and the world seem like an inhospitable, godless wasteland.
She was thirty-three years old, had a ten-year-old daughter, and her brand new enterprise, which she’d forged with sweat and blood, was taking off like a rocket. Her future was a shiny gem, and it lay in shards at our feet.
What do you say in a situation like that? What do you say? Well, you offer hope; that’s what you do. That’s what I tried to do, and it was uncomfortably inadequate and heartbreakingly transparent—she’d explained that she had absolutely no chance.
She left the party early; her sensitivity knew no bounds! I will always remember her as she was on that day—the picture of health and vitality.
I never saw her again. She was gone in a month. Her mother died six months later of a broken heart, leaving her daughter alone in a pool of abysmal depression.
The horror of it all is fresh in my mind today because I’ve been busy stitching hope into the future. Designing and making a dress for Jackie’s daughter Abby’s prom.
Abby is sixteen and ready to take on the rigors of adulthood. She’s been in my sister-in-law's care for six years now and has blossomed into a beautiful, well-grounded teenager with plans to study for a Bcom LLB. She’s going to be a good lawyer, I think, because, in my mind, her trauma will contribute to her humanity. Whatever she grows into, one thing I am certain of is that I’ve given it my best shot to make her look and feel beautiful when she steps out with her really cute boyfriend on her big night, ready to celebrate her opportunities.
Images are my own. Shot using my Ipad
Thank you for sharing this shiveringly vulnerable piece of your heart here, I didn't know how much the dress meant when we talked about it the other day... I feel like I am in that bathroom of your memories with you reading this... eviscerated by life, which gives us so much pain and so much beauty all at the same time... When it's all mixed together, at times all we can do is chase it down with some wine, and get stitching...
Hugs and all the love to you 💕 The dress is gorgeous and so are you 🤗
Your heart and soul are golden. Thank you so much for your sweet, sweet sentiments and your deep thoughtful, beautiful comment. Love you muchness (much, muchness) 🍷🍷🍷🍷❤️💕
Hello @itsostylish I have thought and rethought these lines several times.
Because what I tell you most likely won't change your emotionality. Writing it down and sharing it, as you have done, is liberating and therapeutic. But it is to evoke again feelings that enliven emotions, lived and felt.
I sympathize with you. I have been through a similar situation and it really is not easy. These experiences leave us with many teachings and life lessons, they sensitize us and prepare us to help others. In the same way, we should not waste precious time to be happy.
Abby is with a family that does the impossible to see her happy. She is in good hands, they care for her and, most importantly, they love her.
I think it is the actions we take that get us through such sad events.
Did you ever think you would design and make a dress for Jackie's daughter's prom?
Maybe you never imagined it, but that's life, the unexpected twists and turns. You have created that dress art, it is full of elegance, its firm and simple lines make it distinguished, exquisite and very tasteful. Wonderful creation.
Abby will be dazzled with it, because it is made with a lot of love, it itself is love.
Until another opportunity
Health and wellbeing.
Thank you so much for your beautiful, heartfelt comment. You made me cry because you went to so much trouble over me. Your sentiments are noted and your encouragement accepted with a grateful heart. ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
You are welcome. I hope it comforted you.Your story reflected your feelings in a diaphanous and transparent way, feelings on the surface that are not only read, but transmitted and experienced; hence my comment. I am very grateful for your kind words. Gratified 🤗✨
Oh, @itsostylish. How tragic. Yet beautiful. Abby is a Phoenix. She will shine, and she will go forward and be her mama's legacy. You are so talented. That prom dress is stunning. It's SO great that she has you to love and support her!
Thank you @jayna 🤗❤️💕
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that life story. Despite of what happened Abby is still blessed to have you and her relatives to stand as her family since the day her mother left.
You are so kind to make a dress for her.
It was such a pleasure to make the dress 👗🤗❤️💕
Years will pass and someday Abby will remember the first time she wore the special dress you made for her. At that moment she will be grateful to have had you around. You and your sister-in-law, who went from being her cousin to taking over her mother's duties. Years will pass and Abby will become that person who understands that pain, incomprehensible, and nostalgia turn around. That life always shines and that there are great and beautiful events waiting for her.
Thank you for this love-filled story, dear @itsostylish. 🌼 🌹
As always your comment means the most to me because of your sensitivity and particular insight. Thank you for being the thoughtful and special person that you are. 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗💕❤️❤️🤗🤗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🍷🍷
The dress is really beautiful and Abby, with no doubt will look stunning in it.
Six months cut short to just a month, I can't even imagine.
Felt like you had found a soul sister, too bad life had other plans.
I hope Abby gets to be a lawyer and honours her mother's memories well with every step she takes.
This was really beautiful and emotional. Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️
Yes, I guess that’s more than true, she was a soul sister. I’m so glad you like Abby’s dress 💕❤️💕
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Life is like an ocean, when everything seems calm and beautiful, the fierce storm appears out of nowhere and destroys everything, leaving wreckage scattered everywhere. A very sad story, but the end with a new beginning, that's life.
Thanks for sharing.
Good day.
Your insight is spot on. Life is tragic, but there is hope, always ❤️🤗💕🤗❤️🤩
Gosh, what a tragedy. I too would struggle to know what to say, but offering hope and positivity seems the best we can do. Abby seems like a shining light and I'm sure her mother would be so proud.
Yes, I think that her mother would be very, very proud. 💕❤️💕❤️🤗💕💕💕💕
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🌻 That's so tragic! It's difficult to hold such conversations but I'm glad that you did, and that that occasion is the memory that you hold on to of her. I believe that Abby will do well, indeed 🤗
I’m so glad that I tried, but, as I say, it was dreadfully inadequate 💕❤️🤗❤️❤️💕❤️🤗🤗
🤗💐
Tragic one! Six months is too short to imagine that someone is dying within that period of time, and leaving just in a month is so unfortunate.
Ummmm that's a beautiful dress, I hope she likes it.
Thank you 💕❤️💕❤️❤️
Such an emotional one.
One thing is sure, the future is still very bright for her and I know she'll fit in well, not letting her past to dictate her futures for her
❤️💕🤗
That was Very, Very touching...😔
Thank You for sharing.
I wanted to mention to "You"!
I have been here since before HIVE started, and have met "3" people who have really, done something here - and my friend @itsostylish "You" are one of them! 👍🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👍🏼
Congrats to You! 👋🏼🥳👋🏼🥳👋🏼
And have a Wonderful Weekend!
🙋🏻♀️✨🌄✨🙋🏻♀️
That’s just the sweetest thing ever, ever.
Friends for life 💕❤️💕❤️🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Absolutely!
Have a Wonderful Weekend!
🤗💕🤗❤️🤗💕🤗
And keep it up,
Wonderful to watch!
😉🤗😊
You are so talented, my lovely. I am certain that your niece will feel like a million dollars in this classy dress. You're a very special person with a kind and gentle heart and I am sure that she knows it and feels it!
This was such a heartfelt post, I honestly just wanted to throw my arms around you and hug you. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met and it makes me so sad when you have to endure heartache. I do hope we get to meet in person soon 😘 !LUV
@itsostylish, @samsmith1971(5/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community |
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