"Mommy!" Jethro’s eyes were like saucers. "It’s a worm!"
I sauntered down on my haunches to take a better look. Jethro didn’t talk much; he didn’t talk at all, really. I took in the fat caterpillar that had captured his imagination. It was yellow-green and hairy. I remember that I laughed and held him back—he wanted to touch it.
"Let it be. Leave it alone; it’s in its own world. Don’t interfere."
He turned a sweet, cherub-ruddy face at me, questioningly.
"It’s a caterpillar," I offered unnecessarily.
My relationship with him was tenuous at best and very quiet at worst.
But I loved/love him, absolutely.
Of course, I wanted—no, I needed—him to love me back. I wanted to be his mother.
Jethro’s real mother died of cancer when he was three years old. I wanted to be his everything, but, obviously, that was ridiculously unfair of me. It was ridiculous!
Jethro filled my world. He forced me to see things that I usually missed and that most people in this fast-paced world miss all the time.
It’s so odd that it took a worm to connect us.
It was so odd.
"Mommy!"
The word cuts through me like a knife; I’m butter...
It was the only time he ever said it.
He wasn’t my child. He isn’t my child.
He has a relatively rare condition that prevents him from interacting with other people in a normal way.
Autism is an impossible sentence for a child. It’s impossible for everyone.
He is no longer in my world. I have no power to change that.
I have no power.
I miss him every day.
His father sends me a few progress reports every now and then. Then, more often than now.
...but I will always remember the day he said the word:
"Mommy"
This left me with so many questions, and yet it doesn't matter...
"Mommy..."
Absolutely beautiful 😍
❤️😉💕
Oh my. I think you break my heart into pieces with almost every post you write! You have such a way of tugging at the reader's heartstrings! He sounds like a treasure. It really is amazing how a child can leave an indelible mark on us, isn't it?
Yes! A child holds your soul❤️💕😉
How difficult it is to comment on this non-fiction story that manages with few words to move deeply.
A child, after all, a person incapable, or determined, not to have the multiple interactions to which society forces almost all of us, says one of the most loving words a child can say.
Mom is a word so definitive that it enters like a cupid's spear to chain us for life and become a permanent part of the life of the one who has pronounced it for us.
Expressive text that touches the heart, @itsostylish!
Cupid’s spear! There is no better description in the universe!
❤️💕😉
Oh my.
I really do believe Jethro will progress successfully.
It was a beautiful thing he addressed you as 'Mommy'
Thank you
❤️💕😉
I'm crying reading this post, my darling. Honestly, so overcome with emotion right now. I know how much Jethro means to you... and I'm so sorry things aren't different 😭 You are such an incredibly beautiful human being, my Stylish. He was just as blessed to be able to have you love him as only a mom can. The fact that he recognised and felt that depth of love and connection with you is incredibly moving and a testament to how you love so freely and unselfishly. Do you still create colouring pages for him? Sending you so much love. This must have been hard to write 💗💔 Sharing this moment with you - and I just wanna give you a massive hug !LUV
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How heartbreaking! So many things to puzzle over, but that child love is so poignant!!
My girlfriend bonded with her boyfriends daughter and the WORST, most devastating thing was having to tell the little one. She had sleepovers for a couple of months after that but it just couldn't continue... Too heartbreaking.