Wow, that is an intense story, with a great twist, @mayifiestas! You are a good storyteller.
Just a few helpful comments for you:
- There are a few places where the pronouns are a little mixed up - for example using "he" instead of "she." (See Tip #3 in this post: Help for the Grammatically Challenged.
- Images should always be from license-free sites, such as Pixabay.com, Pexels.com or Unsplash.com. (It's copyright infringement to use images you find on Google.) And for each image, you should supply a reference to the image source, with a link.
Thank you for participating in The Ink Well challenge!
Thank you very much for the suggestions, I will take them into account to improve.