Hi @raymondpeter. Your story suggests that bad marriages can be saved if the two people are devout, God-worshipping Christians. It might be possible in some cases. But my personal feeling is that fiction is not the best place to tell people to turn to God. I'll share a few thoughts with you on this. It is just my perspective.
When I read a story, I am looking for entertainment and a view into an interesting world or reality other my own. For example, I will never fly to outer space, I will never be a cat, and I will never live life as a poor person living on the street. It would therefore be of interest to me if someone wrote a story about one of those things. Reading a story about two married people fighting and being told to be more Godly is not in that category.
Do you ever go to the movies? When I talk to new writers about adding a "moral" statement at the end of a story, I usually use movies as an example. When you watch a movie, most likely it is because you want to see a story. You want to be entertained, to see some action, to see people interacting, and to experience a reality that is different from your own.
People read stories for the same reason. They want to be entertained, not to be told how they should live their lives. If you were watching a movie, and at the end someone stopped the movie to tell you that you should go pray... or eat more vegetables, or get more exercise or be a better person — wouldn't you think that was strange?
I hope that is helpful as you consider themes and ideas for future stories. We have some great resources for new writers, including a catalog of fiction writing tips and many story ideas:
Good luck!
@jayna thank you for your observations and I will work on it
You are welcome. We are here to help our community members on their writing journey!