Alice lived at no 7 Lauren's street Oxford, where she lived with her parents Mr and Mrs Johnson Williams. All her life as a kid was disheartening, because of how her parents quarreled all the time, not knowing that there's a side effect to their child and how it will affect their daughter physically, educationally, mentally and emotionally. Alice is drowning in her emotions, always looking sad and moody. Alice as a kid has never witness parental love and proper Care, this affected her slowly in her academy because there was nobody to talk to, she started avoiding Aliyah, the only friend she have, once the bell is been rang for closing hour, she quickly pick up her bag and go to a quiet place before going home alone without waiting for Aliyah, they both attend prestige high school Oxford. One day Alice said to herself I need to go where I can find love and happiness, during the school vacation she told her mother, Margret, that she wanted to spend the holidays with Aliyah's family. Margaret granted her wish.
When it was time for her to leave, Alice had already prepared her things waiting for her mother to drive off to Aliyah's house. When Margret asked her to go get her things so they could leave, she jumped up happily to park her things. Margret asked herself "why is Alice this happy? I've never seen her like this before". Reaching Aliyah's house the family came out to welcome Alice. She was so happy. She saw Aliyah's dog and she was attracted to it. She carried the dog and ran inside with Aliyah without hearing her mother say goodbye. Alice was so happy spending time with Aliyah and her parents, she felt loved because they eat together as a family. She had someone there to confide in , to play with, she said to herself I have peace, I wish mum and dad will be like Aliyah's parents so we can eat and play together and then buy me a dog . One day Alice and Aliyah were sent to get some Vegetables from the next street after buying the vegetables they saw an old man pushing a wheelbarrow , they render the old man help by helping him push the wheelbarrow to his house, which took a little of their time and made Aliyah's parents worried. When they came back home the dog jubilated and they were so excited that they were able to render help to the old man.
When the vacation was over, it was time for Alice to go back home to her normal life of loneliness. She was so worried and pissed because of how her parents always quarreled without considering her emotions and how she felt. Margret was outside waiting for her daughter but Alice refused to go, at this time the mother became worried and was surprised at her daughter's behavior. Aliyah's parents ask her to go, they will join her soon in the house with Alice. Mr and Mrs Benson Aliyah's parents asked her the reason why she doesn't want to go back home , she explained everything to them and they understand with her. Mr Benson and his wife took Alice home to draw back the attention of the parents to the child's emotions and how their actions have affected the child. Mr and Mrs Johnson were so grateful to Aliyah's parents for the new resolution, Margaret took a deep breath and said to herself at least we can now live as a happy family, Alice forever found parental love and care. Her father bought her a dog she can play with and she felt like the luckiest person on Earth.
Heart touching, indeed parental love is important in the life of a child
So true, very important
In the end, Alice got the happy family she always longed for. She even got a dog. Indeed, she was the luckiest person in the world.
The joy that comes when things starts to go well around you. This indeed was something to be joyful for
I'm glad her parents decided to change :) Always choose happiness!
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Yeah, every parent wants the best for their child. Thank you for your support
You introduce conflict but need a stronger resolution. Given Alice's parents relationship, it feels unlikely that one comment on how they are affecting their child will have such an impact as to lead to them having a happy family going forward. Your piece would shine more if it exhibited more of the characteristics of good fiction eg: A good hook to draw the reader's attention, dialogue to drive the story forward, a strong character arc where we see a character grow over the course of the story. Presentation would be improved through the use of paragraphs to separate out scenes, and readability would improve substantially if you used an online editor to edit your work before publishing. This would identify spelling errors, as well as issues with punctuation and sentence construction. Ink Well resources were shared with you on your first submission. We highly recommend that you read these as they will help you to develop as a writer and give you the opportunity to earn higher curation on your stories.
Thank You inkwell. I'll go through the articles and try to improve in this regards