I was sixteen years old when my uncle left his room for me and relocated to Lagos from Okeagbe-Akoko.
He had lost his mother (my maternal grandmother) and decided to change his environment to get over the trauma of his mother's death. In order not to make my grandfather lonely, I was sent to stay with him to help him run errands and also help in farm work.
My grandfather was staying in a small settlement on the farm while my uncle had a rented apartment in the town. I was to stay in the apartment from Monday to Friday while I joined my grandfather in the farm on Friday evening and return to town on Sunday evening to prepare for school on Monday.
Before my uncle left for Lagos, he introduced me to his friend Ahmed. He didn't want to leave me absolutely alone while in town so he told his friend to help him watch over me. He told me also to consult Ahmed for any issue bothering me whatsoever after he left. They were close friends. My uncle traveled a few days after.
Ahmed was kind to me beyond my expectation. He did to me what my Uncle would have done perfectly.
He called me one day and told me that he wanted to receive a visitor in my room. I was surprised and wondered the kind of visitor he wanted to receive that can't be received in his house but he had established himself as a man that I adore and respect so refusing him of the request wasn't an option. I gave him the key to the room on the day of the visit and I went out to play with friends.
It was becoming late in the evening and Ahmed hadn't called me to come and take over my room. I decided to go and check what was happening.
As I was stepping on the step of the entrance to the building where my room was located, I met a distant neighbor that we popularly called Onyi Monday (Monday's Mother) - she had her first son named Monday. On sighting her, I had thought that she came to visit one of my neighbors in the building. Though this was unusual going by the timing, that was the easiest assumption that occured to my mind.
Before I could approach the door to the building, Ahmed stepped out of the house. He gave me my key and walked towards Oyin Monday. As I turned my face back, I saw Ahmed kissed her and they parted ways. I was shocked. Oyin Monday was married just like Ahmed.
I was bewildered and my respect for Ahmed and the woman diminished. Before I could settle my head around what I saw, Ahmed emerged at my door to tell me to behave as if I saw nothing.
I immediately called my uncle to report to him but the greater shock was that my uncle waved it aside as inconsequential. He warned me not to disrespect his friend as a result.
The woman's husband wasn't unknown to my uncle and I. In fact, before he left for Lagos, we used to sit together and eat food served by Onyi Monday. No reason can be pushed forward for infidelity in marriage and in the case of Onyi Monday, it was more painful because the husband was taking good care of her and the children.
I contemplated spilling the beans but I was scared of how my uncle would react. I was naive in doing so.
As Ahmed realized that there was no immediate consequence for his actions, he continued to repeat it. Each time it happened, I felt uneasiness within me. I feel more of this uneasiness when I find myself with her husband talking and smiling. I knew that something was going wrong or that the man deserved some revelation from me to avert possible evil but I disappointed myself for not saying anything.
The worst form of guiltiness troubled my conscience when the paternity of the last daughter of Onyi Monday became a contentious issue. The girl had a striking semblance to Ahmed. It was so striking that everyone in the community concluded that the girl was fathered by Ahmed.
The case came to the attention of the community leader and when it was being deliberated upon, I felt that I betrayed the husband for not talking when it was necessary to salvage the situation.
I left the town after two years to complete my education in my hometown. I later learned that the case lingered for five years before a DNA test revealed that it was indeed a paternity fraud.
The marriage between Onyi Monday and her husband ended as a result and Ahmed took custody of the girl.
I felt I should have done better in handling the situation but as I grew older, I understood that my tender age contributed to my naiveness then.
For years, I registered my displeasure with my uncle for the enabling role he played. He regretted his actions when the whole issue blew out of proportion.
Quite a sad tale and infidelity should never be condoned. Truth always comes to light. It could've been through you or any other as it eventually was
Honestly, it's one of such experiences that I had wanted to erase from my memory. It's one of those things that makes me wish the hands of the clock could be wind back.
Your uncle’s friend should not have involved you in his deception. Your uncle should’ve picked Ahmed out, and told him to stop using your room in such an indiscreet manner. As for you, as a child, you should not have been put in such an untenable situation. Your lack of voice in the matter, shouldn’t have caused guilt, you were a child, and children don’t owe that kind of responsibility to adults.
That's true. My age contributed to my way of handling the situation.
Quite deep! But from my own perspective, if there was anyone to spill the secret, it shouldn't be you. And trust me when I say that you wouldn't be able to bare the forthcoming consequences.
Encountering such occurrence could be quite painful especially when you're fully aware of the fact that you can do something about it.
I found myself at the centre of adults' recklessness. I wish I was able to prevent the calamity that befell the marriage later.
Keeping such secrets weight one down and has its psychological effects. Especially when you think could have done more to salvage the situation. It plays on one's mind.
Truly in your case you where left in a difficult position and as a child bearing such burden for adults who were supposed to be the responsible ones in this case is so disappointing. Finding a more elderly,responsible and respectable person to confined in would have been a better solution for a young you especially since your uncle decided to overlook and caution you against offending his friend.
This would have been a perfect way forward. Anytime I remember such a situation, I just wish I could have salvage the situation in any possible way and confiding in an elder would have been perfect.
Nothing can be hidden for ever, as the pidgin proverbs goes -“when breeze blow, fowl yansh go open”.
This is sad but I don’t think there’s anything you would’ve done as at that time.
I may not be blamed but I know of some kids of that age that would have spilled the beans to a respected elder. I was naive and introvert.
Yay! 🤗
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