I came out of the alley
Those were the only words from the man at the front door. His hair was shaggy and his beard was growing. The short-sleeved shirt he was wearing showed his thin tattooed arms. I looked him up and down. It inspired me pity.
It had been 17 years since he had left. Our daughter is now 24 years old and lives in another city. I stayed in the same house and that's why he found me.
He continued to stand at the door as my thoughts flew to the narrow street my life had become. It is impossible to forget the darkness.
Seventeen years ago I thought my life was perfect. I had a house of my own, a wonderful husband and a fantastic daughter. Nothing was missing and nothing was left over. The idealization of a happy mother and wife was a reality.
However, I learned that emotions are moments that do not last. One day I was happy and didn't know it. Then the pain came and I felt that my life was over.
Through intense pain and grief, I learned that I can survive emotions. Besides, I also learned to appreciate happy moments. It seems contradictory but it is so. When you have felt that life is ending, you can see how many happy moments you have not enjoyed because you have not allowed yourself to see them.
Nat and I kept looking at each other in the present but my thoughts were in the past.
After entering the alley of bitterness alone, seeing the ghosts of loneliness and sleeping in old rags, one day I woke up with the impulse of my daughter crying for food. She was hungry and so was I. She was alive and I was dying. She, so small, gave me her hand and led me to the wide street with lights.
The problems were the same but I was beginning to see a better chance of facing them because I had separated me from darkness.
The avenue of life is very problematic but it has light. Seeing the figures with their lights and shadows allows you to stop being a slave to problems. So I did and I was born for the third time.
My first birth was biological. My second birth was when my daughter was born. And my third birth was the real one because that was when I became a woman who believed in herself.
I replied, "I came out of the alley you left me in when you left. You are nobody in my life. It's ME." I closed the door.
I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and eat some delicious oatmeal raisin cookies while I enjoyed looking at the garden through the window.
Thanks for reading.
Welcome your comments
Infinite greetings!
© Aug 2020, Marcy Betancourt. All rights reserved
I like the metaphor of coming out of the alley to describe the woman finding herself.
Thanks for the comment. It is fascinating to write and imagine stories but the exchange of ideas is the most appreciated.
Everything is based precisely on that symbolism. In and out of the alley.
Greetings!
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