Despair triggers someone to think life is so tiring to live. Failure makes me think life betrays me. After what I've done it seems life is unfair to me. Without realizing it, my feet took me to the San Juanico bridge where it's the tallest bridge in the Philippines. My mind is so dark and all I think is to forget everything.
"I GIVE UP!"
The last words I said and let myself fall from that bridge to the deep sea.
.
.
.
"Where am I?"
Waking up with a nausea feeling.
"For sure this must be hell since I committed s suicide."
That's what I'm expecting after the bad deeds I did.
"Come to the table son, the food is ready."
I'm very surprised. I can't believe it's happening.
"Mama--,"
I hug my mother tightly, letting all my emotions be swept away. I want to release all the pain inside me. I consider myself dead because it has been more than 5 years since my mother died. She rooted me until I graduated and encouraged me to keep fighting.
"What's wrong with you?"
Perhaps she's confused by my actions.
"It's like we haven't seen each other for such a long time."
My mother just smiled and rubbed my head.
"My poor son, let's go to the table."
I still have no idea what's going on, filled my thoughts with doubts and uncertainties.
"Am I really dead?" I shook my head many times. I pinched my cheek and closed and opened my eyes as if this was just a dream.
"What's happening now?"
The question only I could hear, the feeling only I could feel. I just let it be, I feel the tenderness that makes my disappointed thoughts calmer.
Nostalgia. Makes my heart jump with joy being in my old hometown, the surroundings are nothing but happiness.
"Hey, Jef. Congratulations."
My friend Sam congratulated me but I was wondering what he meant by that. I remained clueless and didn't know how to answer him.
"Why are you spacing out?"
He came to me, leaning his arm on my shoulder.
"Congratulations on graduating from your college. For the group of us who are friends, it's only you who finished college."
Abruptly, tears subside into my memories. Yes, I remember how proud my friends were when I graduated from college. We even celebrated it in our house and they were the ones who prepared it. I totally forgot it because I was too hungry for success.
"Sorry," I looked away from him, rubbing my eyes.
"What are you doing," he said.
"You should be happy instead of crying."
He didn't know what I did after. I forgot them and even ignored them. I got carried away, acted arrogantly when I was hired. Started to look down on them because the level of our profession was too far apart. They were working as laborers and I worked in the office, thinking I shouldn't hang out with them.
"Don't cry or you'll make me cry."
He slowly wipes his eyes from the tears.
"Don't be like that Jeff. We are so proud of you because of the 5 of us who promised to finish our studies. It's just you who made it come true."
I gaze at Sam and he shows tears.
"What's this drama all about?"
My friend Jun jumped over in our back, leaning his two arms to our shoulders with Sam. We immediately let the sadness on our faces fade.
"Let's go to that mountain. Let's celebrate there."
My two friends at the back arrived and agreed on it.
"Sounds a good idea."
They said and just nodded.
After asking permission from our mothers, we walked towards that place. Walking, looking at the environment I'm in, my heart filled with nothing but joy. This kind of feeling was the one I was searching for when I was so stressed about my work. No one was there for me because it was me who distanced myself from that happiness.
We arrived at the peak of the mountain. The view is so perfect, the trees, the oceans, and the breeze slap me. It's like it tells me why I chose to forget this kind of feeling.
"Wooh...wooohhhh"
I didn't join them playing like children. They are jumping, shouting, and smiling. I didn't join them because in my thoughts I betrayed them and I have no right to be happy with them. The awkward feeling stopped me.
"What are you doing Jeff?" Sam said.
"Yes, you're killing the momentum of joy," Jun added.
"Yeah," the two friends agreed.
They pulled me and asked me to join them. They didn't know how desperate I was to have this kind of feeling, the feeling of being free from everything. Slowly, thanks to the help of my friends. I shouted and started to express exhilaration. I feel like I wanted to pull the dismay in my heart, all of it. I'm just embarrassed to admit it but thanks to them the burden I'm feeling leaves my thoughts.
"Guys," I said all of a sudden.
"You look so serious Jeff?" Sam was confused.
"Is there something wrong? Have you been like that since we arrived?" Sam added.
"If I can just tell you guys but I don't know how to say it, where to start?"
I said to them with a smiling face this time.
"We are friends, no we are like brothers. We can understand you for sure?"
Sam said it to me and embarrassed me. Remembering what I said.
"Friends, brothers huh?" I muttered.
"Yes," I smiled.
They are curious about what's happening to me. I face the ocean, calming myself, and slowly open my mouth and shout.
"I'M SO SORRY GUYS."
After what I've said I suddenly woke up. Looking at my surroundings I was in the hospital.
"I'm glad you woke up Jeff."
My friend Sam said while sitting inside the room. I slowly rose up and I saw Jun and my other friends as well.
"Everyone?"
I couldn't stop myself from being emotional seeing them. We aren't on good terms with my friends because of my arrogant behavior.
"I'm so sorry and thank you very much."
"We were just sulking but we are not mad at you."
Jun answered and both of them nodded while showing a smile.
"Thanks, guys."
Thanks to them I didn't think of pressuring my life anymore. I found a light of happiness from them. This time I will stop thinking of ending my life because there are still reasons why I should be thankful for it.
END..
mrnightmare
images are mine
This is a well-realized story,@mrnightmare.net. Jeff goes through a crisis and has an epiphany. The happiness that he could not find, was near him all the while. He just looked in the wrong places. He looked for it in material success, when friendship offered true happiness. And friendship was waiting for him all the while. He had to rediscover it.
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Jeff is lucky to have such friends. And he is lucky to get a second chance at happiness. It seems this crisis was so serious that he has learned a lesson and will seek happiness in friendship, rather than in material success.
Nice story @mrnightmare.net
Jeff is really lucky person who has nice friends.
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STOPThis is a beautiful story, @mrnightmare.net. Your skills as a writer are growing all the time. It's wonderful to see. You have developed quite a collection of stories about people reconciling with some very deep pain and complex emotions!