"Hey, what happened to him?"
"Has he became crazy?"
I could hear the gossip of the people that surrounded me. They thought I was crazy because of laughing alone and staying in a quiet place alone. The world changed some time ago. Every action has a restriction as if people are not free to do what they want. I feel like this is not the ideal way to live as a human.
The crowded waiting shed where people stayed and had some random conversations. The street was fully loaded with the children playing. The neighborhood just grouped each other every morning. The laughter of their silly gathering was now not allowed. The police officers will arrest someone if they don't follow the new ordinance.
"This is suffocating," in my thoughts.
The rebellion worsened when the citizens didn't like the new government rules. It was long ago when I was on the vast ocean fishing. I was excited to go home after catching a huge fish to fill the hungry stomach of my own family. But when I was home, dead bodies from my loved ones met me inside. They said a rebellion came inside our house and they exchanged fire with the policemen.
My heart was in deep sorrow because I couldn't believe what happened. Even though life was hard I still did my best to raise them. There's nothing I could do because it was an accident according to them. All I did was crying and crying until I was tired. I didn't close my eyes because I know if I close it would be the last I would see them. I wanted to let them stay beside me but it wasn't possible because they're already dead.
I cried every night. Their faces were still vivid in my thoughts. The way we used to have a beautiful conversation. The way we used to enjoy life. I couldn't accept it and as time flew by I decided to keep them in my sight. Even though they didn't exist in the eyes of other people, it does to me. Even though they didn't exist in the eyes of other people, it does to me. People may see me talking alone but in my mind, I'm not. They live in me, in my heart and mind.
"The sea feels amazing, right?" I said when I stayed at the shore alone.
"You don't want to go home, yet?"
It happened before when my child swam with my wife. I was just watching them while my children enjoyed the sea. I could not forget how happy my child was back then. I could see from the smile and the actions. It's like the time will be the last time. Actually, it was the last time I enjoyed watching them having so much fun.
"Who was he talking to?"
"Maybe, he was just crazy."
Fishermen like me who are fishing near the shore. I could hear them talking at my back while smirking. But I'm used to it because I always heard them talking. I just ignored them because this is how I cope with myself to live. Without the memories I stored for sure I'll be gone for long. I don't care how people see me now. They never bothered to ask me anyway. They only said bad things so as long as this makes me happy. It's fine to be a crazy person in their eyes. They don't know what I'm thinking anyway.
END...
mrnightmare
This is an insightful psychological profile of someone dealing with unbearable grief. Your character's motivation is clear. There is an understanding of his relationship to 'real events'. The narrator realizes that the family is dead, that they are actually not with him. But he keeps them alive by conjuring their images and their actions. He soothes himself by making their memories alive.
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Thanks, I was just assuming that's how people think by keeping themselves in silence. I had no idea totally but it gave me thoughts something like this.
Hello @mrnightmare.net,
You have a talent for portraying people who feel alienated, people who are suffering. In this case, the person is alienated by grief. This is one of the most profoundly traumatic experiences. I think you do a good job. You might want to correct one sentence that is repeated
I think in time your character may learn to exist more fully in the physical world and yet keep the memory of his loved ones close.
Thank you for adding it in my thoughts. Even though it's not that clear to you gave me an idea how to do it.
Intense grief, such as the loss of family, can provoke unbelievable reactions for those who have not felt it. For your character the social stigma is more bearable than the acceptance of the death of her family. Good perspective, @mrnightmare.net
True because there's no painful experience than losing your loved ones. Thanks
Your stories are heartbreaking, @mrnightmare.net. I think you have a lot of compassion for people who have experience truly devastating life events, and you do a nice job of bringing those experiences into the light for examination in fiction.
Maybe because I chose to understand and not to judge them. It's not easy to tell what they're thinking so I just assumed by my own thoughts. Thank you by the way.
They never will know the pain of lossing a loved one though. But still it's not the end of the world just stand up and keep it going 💪
Thanks for sharing
true, it's just that it's not easy to leave the past filled with happiness.
Yes absolutely true🤔