Fiction: Wrong number/ Número equivocado (ESP/ ENG)

in The Ink Well2 months ago


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Wrong number

In the middle of the night, the cell phone rang. The girl sleeping in the double bed woke up with a start. She looked at the number on the screen and for a moment hesitated to answer, but seeing the insistence, she answered:

"Aló!" - said the girl in a hoarse, low voice.

"Hello, Lucia. Don't cut". - a male voice was heard on the other end of the line - "Let me talk to you, please, because if I don't, I'll go crazy. I've wanted to talk to you for a long time, but I know you've changed your number. Today, finally, I found your friend Sandra on Facebook and she gave me this number and that's why I'm calling you". - There was silence on the other end and then a whisper - "I also found out that you got married".

-"Hello! - repeated the girl when she saw that her husband, who was lying next to her, opened his eyes.

"Yes, Sandra told me not to look for you, that why, if you already have your life and in the end, that's what's important. I'm not going to deny that it hurt my soul to know that you married your friend Lencho. In the end, I was right: Lencho was in love with you and that's why he did everything to separate us. Do you remember the time he told you I was with someone else and I told you it was a lie and you didn't believe me? Because you always trusted him more than me. How much I would have liked to be wrong, Lucia, when I told you that you liked Lencho. Do you remember?"

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Pixabay

"Hello, hello!" - said the girl, bringing the cell phone closer to her ear.

"But I wasn't wrong, woman, and how bad it feels not to be wrong when you suspect you've been betrayed. And you know why, Lucia, because I did love you, I was faithful to you, I did want to make a family with you, I did have the names of each of our children, because do you remember that we would have three children, Lucia: two boys and a girl?"

"Hello, hello,” she said again before her husband's questioning gaze.

"I would like to ask you if you are happy, but I don't know how I will feel if you tell me yes, and I would also like to tell you that I have made my life, that everything is going well, that I have forgotten you, Lucia, but I am afraid that you will realize that I am lying to you, because I have never been able to lie to you, woman. Never. Even if you believe the opposite. And no. My life is not fine, but it will be fine after I tell you everything I have to tell you".

"Hello, hello!" - insisted the woman.

"You know very well that the idea of my leaving the country was yours. The promise was that you would come with me, after I had a good job, a house. That was the plan: to raise money for your ticket, for the house, the car. But you broke our commitment, overnight, without justification or excuses. In the distance, Lucia, by text message. You blocked me from everywhere, Lucia, as if I were the bad guy in this story. When you well know that here the person who did wrong was someone else".


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Pixabay

"Hello, hello, I'm hanging up" - announced the girl with a determined voice.

"Don't worry, Lucia. You don't need to hang up. I will do it for you. The only thing I wanted was to tell you this that was stuck in my chest. That you were the most beautiful thing I ever had, but not anymore. I want to tell you like the poet Cardenal, in his famous Epigram: “In losing you, you and I have lost. I because you were what I loved the most and you because I was the one who loved you the most. But between you and me, you lose more than me, because I may love others as I loved you, but you will never be loved as I loved you” - said the man and hung up.

At night, in the middle of the darkness, the girl kept the cell phone glued to her ear, and slowly, slowly lowered it, feeling those words echoing in her ear. The husband looked at her and asked doubtfully:

"Ana, who was it?"

"I don't know. Wrong number,” said Ana, feeling a mixture of pity for the man who had called and an immense hatred for the woman called Lucia.


Pixabay

All images are free of charge and the text is my own, translated in Deepl

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Thank you for reading and commenting. Until a future reading, friends


Click here to read in spanish


Número equivocado
En mitad de la noche, se escuchó el celular. La chica que dormía en la cama matrimonial, se despertó sobresaltada. Miró el número en la pantalla y por un instante dudó si contestar, pero al ver la insistencia, contestó :
_¡Aló! - dijo la chica con voz ronca y bajito.
_Aló, Lucía. No cortes. - se escuchó una voz masculina del otro lado de la línea - Déjame que te hable, por favor, porque si no lo hago, me volveré loco. Desde hace tiempo he querido hablar contigo, pero sé que cambiaste de número. Hoy, por fin, encontré por Facebook a tu amiga Sandra y fue quien me dio este número y por eso te estoy llamando. - se escuchó un silencio al otro lado y después un susurro - También me enteré que te casaste.
-¡Aló! - repitió la chica cuando vio que su esposo, quien estaba acostado a su lado, abría los ojos.
_Sí, Sandra me dijo que no te buscara, que para qué, si ya tú tienes tu vida y al final, es lo importante. No te voy a negar que me dolió en el alma saber que te casaste con tu amigo Lencho. Al final, yo sí tenía razón: Lencho estaba enamorado de ti y por eso hacía todo por separarnos. ¿Te acuerdas la ves que te dijo que yo estaba con otra y yo te dije que era mentira y no me creíste? Porque tú siempre confiaste más en el, que en mí. Cuánto me hubiese gustado equivocarme, Lucía, cuando te decía que te gustaba Lencho. ¿Te acuerdas?
_¡Aló, aló! - expresó la chica acercándose el celular más al oído.
_Pero no me equivoqué, mujer, y qué malo se siente no equivocarse cuando uno sospecha haber sido traicionado. Y sabes por qué, Lucía, porque yo sí te quería bonito, yo sí te fui fiel, yo sí quería hacer una familia contigo, yo sí tenía los nombres de cada uno de nuestros hijos, porque ¿te acuerdas que tendríamos tres hijos, Lucía: dos varoncitos y una hembra?
_Aló, Aló - pronunció de nuevo ante la mirada interrogante del esposo.
_Me gustaría preguntarte si eres feliz, pero no sé cómo me sentiré si me dices que sí y también me gustaría decirte que he hecho mi vida, que todo marcha bien, que te he olvidado, Lucía, pero temo que te des cuenta que te miento, porque nunca he podido mentirte, mujer. Nunca. Aunque tú creas todo lo contrario. Y no. Mi vida no está bien, pero estará bien después que te diga todo lo que tengo que decirte.
_¡Aló, Aló! - insistió la mujer.
_Tú bien sabes que la idea de que me fuera del país, fue tuya. La promesa era que luego tú te vendrías conmigo, luego de que yo tuviera un buen trabajo, una casa. Ese era el plan: reunir para tu pasaje, para la casita, el carro. Pero rompiste nuestro compromiso, de la noche a la mañana, sin justificación ni excusas. En la distancia, Lucía, por mensaje de texto. Me bloqueaste de todas partes, Lucía, como si yo fuera el malo de esta historia. Cuando tú bien sabes que aquí la persona que hizo mal fue otra.
_Aló, Aló, voy a colgar - anunció la chica con voz decidida.
-No te preocupes, Lucía. No es necesario que tú cuelgues. Yo lo haré por ti. Lo único que yo quería era decirte esto que tenía atorado en el pecho. Que tú fuiste lo más bonito que yo tuve, pero que ya no. Quiero decirte como el poeta Cardenal, en su famoso Epigrama: "Al perderte yo a ti, tú y yo hemos perdido. Yo porque tú eras lo que yo más amaba y tú porque yo era el que te amaba más. Pero entre tú y yo, tú pierdes más que yo, porque yo podré amar a otras como te amaba a ti, pero a ti nunca te amarán como te amaba yo" - dijo el hombre y colgó.
En la noche, en mitad de la oscuridad, la chica quedó con el celular pegado al oído, y fue bajándolo poco a poco, lentamente, sintiendo que aquellas palabras retumbaban a en su oído. El esposo la miró y preguntó con dudas:
_¿Ana, quién era?
_No sé. Número equivocado - dijo Ana, sintiendo una mezcla de lástima por aquel hombre que había llamado y un odio inmenso por aquella mujer llamada Lucía.

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This story really captured my attention from start to finish. The emotion conveyed through the caller's monologue was palpable, and Ana's reactions added depth to the narrative. The twist of mistaken identity was both tragic and poignant, leaving me feeling deeply for both the caller and Ana.
The use of the poet Cardenal's epigram was a brilliant touch, emphasizing the intensity of lost love.
I wonder what Lucia's side of the story would be like. Did she find happiness with Lencho, or was her heart also aching for the love she once had?
This story opens up so many questions and possibilities.
Great writing @nancybriti1

Wow! A very complete message, my friend. Thank you very much. Yes, the intention is for the reader to know the details of the relationship of the man who calls and Lucia, through that call and that perhaps, just as it happens to Ana, who feels a certain affection for the man and a certain adversity for Lucia, it can happen to the reader. And Ernesto Cadernal's poem, I know it by heart and I love to recite it whenever I can. Thanks again for your comment. Regards

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Happy and honored by your appreciation, friends

Ha what an ending, I was enthralled and never saw that coming!
Great story Nancy and yes I am with Ana... Big hug Nancy

Glad you liked it, my friend. Hugs

I love your mind!

Wow! This is so amazing. I couldn't stop halfway. I had to finish the story.😁😁😁

Good thing you read it all. Thanks

Well, he would think that he was talking to Lucia and he had poured his heart out without knowing it was a wrong number, I feel pity for him, that why is good to hear they otherside'se voice before saying every rubbish you can spill

It also served as a way for him to let off steam. Greetings

This is painful. I feel sorry for the caller. He must've felt betrayed. The guy called her for closure. I feel so sad for him.

Yes, the idea is to empathize with the caller. Greetings

Ok this was funny... Nice one Nancy 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for your comment. Regards

You are welcome 🤗

What a turn of event. The man was so pained that he vented his mind out for that long without knowing that it was a wrong number. Your story is superb as usual.

Likewise. Sometimes it happens that we talk and we don't know who we are talking to. Thank you for commenting

This story kept me glued to my phone, nice story Nancy..

Thank you for your comment! Regards