Sarah sat in one of the chairs by the side of the small hospital bed, watching and waiting patiently for Theo to wake up. Different machines were connected to him to keep him stable. The steady beeping sound of the machines soon began sounding like a rhythm for Sarah. Something she had grown accustomed to. As she watched his lying weak figure, she couldn't help the tears that escaped her eyes again.
She should be used to this, she thought to herself. But then again one could never get used to seeing their loved one deteriorate so slowly and painfully.
After some minutes had passed, Theo's eyes finally opened.
“Don't you know crying doesn't suit at all" he joked weakly trying to make her smile.
“You look very ugly when you cry “ he continued teasing her until she finally smiled at him.
Theo had been diagnosed with cancer, a severe terminal illness two months ago. The doctor had said he had very short time left to live as the cancerous cells were spreading fast through his entire body, corrupting other cells in his body. This came as shocking and painful news to Theo and his family. From time to time he would just suddenly collapse.The doctor said his body was becoming weaker and weaker as the days went by and Sarah continued to stay by his side through it all. She couldn't let go
How could she, how do you suddenly unlove someone you love? She asked Theo that early on he tried pushing her away after discovering his illness. But Sarah was tough. She stayed by his side, like a rock, unwavering till now. She refused to let Theo see her pain, only when he was asleep would she allow herself to cry. But it seemed like today he had caught her.
" Hey, do you remember that time we went to Eliora island?" Theo asked weakly.
"Of course, I do"
" We spent the whole day, dancing near the beach, building sand castles and running around the island, exploring different dishes and delicacies they had to offer" Sarah said, her eyes beaming with joy as she thought back to the memories.
"I want you to know that I love you," Theo said after some moments of silence.
"I love you too, so very much" she said, allowing herself to cry again in front of him.
Something in her told her this was going to be the last time. He looked so weak and without life. This collapse was different from the others. It had taken his body a day and a half to wake up unlike the others. The doctor had told her that he might not make it through this week.
"Hey hey hey, no crying, remember, you promised"
"I know I know. I don't just know what's wrong with me today" she tried brushing it off ".
"Listen to me" he spoke again weakly,
" I want you to know that, your the best thing that has ever happened to me" He said
"Thank you for the memories" he continued
“ Oh Theo, I should be the one to thank you for the memories."
Theo has always been a force to be reckoned with. A young man so full of life and ambitions. He always had a unique way of seeing the world. And that was why he refused treatment insisting on doing what he loved rather than being stuck in a hospital where he would gradually die more painfully. He loved poetry and preferred to be outdoors studying poetry than being confined in a hospital with no certainty of treatment.
Sarah thought back to the first day they met. It was at a convention in Washington. The hall was filled with thousands of people and speakers and he was apparently one of the speakers in that event. The youngest might I add. Sarah found herself captivated by his speech, his choice of words and his appearance.
"It's not about the length of time we have here on earth, but what we do with it that matters" one of his words he had said in his speech struck something within her.
He spoke passionately about death and purpose that day. Who knew, one day, death would come to his own door unexpectedly.
After the convention they bumped into each other. She remembered how he apologized profusely to her that night and offered to walk her to her ride. They exchanged pleasantries and clicked off instantly from there. And that was how they began.
Now it seemed like this was the end. A bitter end indeed. One she wasn't ready to end yet but had made peace with it. Theo had made her promise a long time ago to continue her life without him. To explore those places they had always envisioned to go together with or without him. She couldn't refuse him anything, not on his dying bed.
A cough from him distracted her from her thoughts
“I’m going to just lay on my head for a while,” Theo said, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
However, a few minutes later, the sound of the machine went quiet. Those sounds she had gotten used to while she would wait patiently for him to awake. She steadied herself, and took in a deep breath before calling the doctor.
“He's gone,” the doctor had said solemnly, removing the stethoscope from his chest.
Sarah couldn't help but nod her head, no words refusing to come out. The pain that filled her up was unbearable. Even though she knew he was going to die, nothing could prepare her for this moment. Taking one last look at him, she kissed him on the forehead and silently mouthed
“Thank you for the memories” and walked away with tears still in her eyes.
