For friendship to work out fine, I believe the both individual involved must be on the same page, think alike and share some things in common. A friendship where both cannot agree on a thing nor work together to achieve a common goal cannot stand the test of time and such friendship will crumble to the ground. This also goes for relationship, in a relationship where the two partners refuses to come together to make it work, such relationship will be ruined and might not be redeemed in the long run. Sustaining a relationship is more than confessing the love all the time, those are just mere words, the fact and question every one should ask his or herself is "can I stand my partner's excesses?".
In a situation where you can't give yourself a genuine answer and stand by it then such relationship or friendship cannot work out. Many people don't take this part of seeing things from the same point of view serious, they believe love is over everything and because they love each other, one person will change the other. Anyways that's the most impossible thing I've seen in relationship, no one can change the other, we will always be who we are no matter how long we pretend to be what the other person wants. One day , the real you will surface and if your partner can come with it , that brings an end to such relationship or friendship.
This week's prompt got to me and it made me remembered a scenario that happened to me two years ago which caused me my relationship to crumble all because we have different views about life. This was the reason why I said it takes the agreement of two individuals to work together without flaws. In a situation where there is no agreement, separation is bound to happen, it is irresistible. I met this guy on one of my outings and from there we became good friends. Everywhere was filled with green light and good vibes, the energy he was putting in the friendship was massive and as a single lady, I was enjoying the ride.
During our friendship, we do have lots of discussions and whatever he says always align with what I have in mind and we do view things from the same perspective which made me thought we might be good for each other. After a year of friendship, we decided to go into a relationship and the first six months was memorable. Things were going as planned and it sure seems we were made for each other. After a year the story began to change, he got a job in another state and he began to shuttle between the two states which I had no problem with. He do visit by weekends and sometimes he comes just two weekends in a month.
"I can't be doing this every weekend",he said on one of his visits. "And what are you doing that you can't continue with?", I asked. He knows I am being sarcastic then he decided to have a discussion which I already know all what it's about. I sat conveniently in order to pay attention to whatever he has to say. "I want to relocate finally to my place of work,I'm not finding it convenient to be coming down here ever week or every two weeks", he began. "I need to let you know so that you can tell me your view about it", he concluded. I sighed and replied, "it's fine if you want to relocate, I don't have any problem with that, the only problem I might have is our meeting, because if you are relocating, that means we won't be seeing".
"What is the social media platform for?", he asked, I was shocked at that question because I wasn't expecting it. "Sorry, what was that suppose to mean?", i asked him, "don't get me wrong, you can always get across to me via video calls and voice calls, that shouldn't be a problem, he said. At that point, I was already getting pissed off, "for how many years will I be getting across to you through video calls?" , I asked. He couldn't reply because he doesn't have a reply to give, then I asked, "can I come over for a visit anytime I desire?", the expression on his face answered the question. I don't think he likes the idea of me coming over for a visit, after a minute of silence, I said "then we are going to have a problem if you can't come here neither can I come over there, I am not comfortable with video and voice calls".
"Why can't you just see from my point of view" he shouted, I was wondering why the aggression over such a trivial matter. "I can't see the point you are driving at because it seems pointless to me, let's reach a conclusion , that's what matters", I replied him. "When I want you to come, I will let you know but till then I will prefer we communicate through the social media platforms" he said, I smiled because I knew something was fishy. "It will be better you come twice a month or I do, once there is a communication bridge , this relationship will be over, you are not the type that stays active online and you are aware that I don't take much pleasure in distant relationship, do tell me how this relationship will survive" I replied him. "This conversation is over till you get my view on the issue we are trying to resolve" he snapped.
That got me annoyed and I decided not to say anything about the discussion anymore. He travelled back to his work place and as expected we couldn't keep good communication because he is not always active online, he didn't come to visit neither was I able to travel down to his residence. In the long run we had to separate because things aren't working anymore, he refuses to see from my point of view nor did I accept his perception either.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.
If he were the type that's active on social media, you guys could have pushed it to an extent but...his absence spoiled it and you were not ready to flow too.
It's well
It's gone jare, we move
Yeaaaah
Ouch! That could have gone better. Like you said, only people who see eye to eye on matters come to a good resolution. A little compromise on both sides would have saved the relationship. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be.
Well done.
Exactly, it wasn't meant to be
Well, well, well, communication is key in every relationship. Atleast, if he wouldn't be coming over, he should have created time for you on social media. I don't know how far you guys were, but coming to see you once or twice a month or allowing you to go over shouldn't be a big deal. Let's not conclude though, he might be having his reasons. If not that his response looks fishy at some points, I would have asked you to just be patient but, with the way he was responding, it seems he was ready to move on
Exactly, so it will be pointless if I keep on pushing him to value the relationship
Smiles.. let me not talk sha😂😂
Lolz
I agree with your point. While it is true that communication is critical in a relationship, other things are also important. If he put his job above you, he didn't give importance to the relationship. His interests are not the same. Regards
That's just the point, and I had to let go
To be honest, maintaining a long-distance relationship is very difficult and most of the time it doesn't end well. There has to be very strong communication which in my opinion shouldn't just be through chatting on social media, but also voice and video calls. It's good that you guys went your separate ways, the relationship just wasn't meant to be
It wasn't meant to be and I'm glad it ended soon.
Understanding and agreement could have made it work.
You already foresee the outcome.
And he wasn't ready to sacrifice more.
Exactly.
Meant to be is coming.
I hope so too
It's certain
This story began a little awkwardly, but you found your stride and finished with aplomb! Very nicely done exploration of a distant relationship that just fails. Your delivery of this piece would, however, be elevated if you used an online editor to find and correct for inaccurate grammar and punctuation.
Thank you for writing in The Ink Well.
Thanks for reading, I'm making use of Grammarly but I think I would find another editor.
Meeting someone with matching vibes feels like discovering a soulmate in a crowded room and is mind blowing. But relationships are created not just with love but also with shared perspectives and understanding.
Thank you for sharing 😊🙏
Thanks for reading, that's what he fails to understand.
Something smells fishy. Why doesn’t he want you to come over anytime you want? He probably found someone else. Relationships can be complicated and long distance at that.