A songwriter said, "Life's easy when you're on the mountain." I didn't understand this at first, but as I grew older, it became clearer. Judging others when you're not in their shoe is so easy. It is very easy to pass comments when you don't know what others are going through. Many people don't know how far their words can travel. Sometimes words are like a snake bite that carries venom all through the body in seconds.
This prompt reminded me of one of my aunts who had a delay in childbearing for fifteen years. During the delay, there were lots of rumors flying around, and people were passing several comments about her childlessness. During these trying times, it was then that I realised the essence of family. Family was the one thing there for her; even her so-called friends deserted her, and they were the carriers of most of the rumors. Sometimes when I have the opportunity to talk with her, she laments so much on how the things said about her affected her self-esteem, and mental health.
"My best friend was my arch enemy as St that time, she told my husband that I was promiscuous during school days", those were my aunt's words.
I could only smile because I knew she wasn't promiscuous. Her present husband was the first man to get down with her, so how could she be labelled as promiscuous? Many said she probably used her womb for ritual because she is blessed. She has a big store where she sells a variety of kitchen utensils and equipment. It got so bad that people started questioning her source of wealth. What could be disheartening than all these false allegations?
This was a time she wanted to give up on everything. There was pressure from her husband's family, but thanks to the support from her family and husband. It was this time that I understood that your closest friends can become your worst nightmare in trying times. A scenario happened when I went for a visit. She was a bit sick that day, and while coming from school, because I was in secondary school then, I visited her.
"Your neighbor gave Bori a new shirt, who knows what she had done to the shirt. She wants to ruin me", I heard her neighbor telling another neighbor. I knew the lady's son bears the name Bori, but I didn't know who got her son a new shirt; I guessed it was my aunt, and I was right.
The boy celebrated his 9th birthday, and just because she loved the boy and played with him, she felt it was cool to get him a present. He gave him a shirt, but the mother of the child and other neighbors thought she wanted to use the child for whatever they had in their minds.
I told my sister what I heard, but she smiled it away, even though I knew she was sad deep down in her heart, with several thoughts running through her mind. Even after she gave birth to her first daughter after 15 years she couldn't get some people's hurtful words off her mind. Those talking badly about her don't know the pain she carried for those long years. They were saying things that they assumed but none ever walked in her shoes to understand what she was going through during that trying time. Today, she is a beautiful mother of two lovely children, and that is the testimony she needed.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.
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One thing about people's words and actions is that they last long. The fellow may think he's not hurt by those things, but even in time, when they meet those people, it's as though they're meeting the hurtful words and actions afresh.
For your aunt, thank God she still gave birth after fifteen years. It must have been a tough one for her.
Your story about your aunt was heartbreaking yet inspiring. The part where even her “best friend became her arch enemy” really showed how cruel people’s words can be. Her strength through fifteen years of pain and rumors is truly admirable.
People are very bad when they feel they are doing better than other people. People who would have been badmouthing her people who might already have children and those that got them early when they need them that's why they feel like they are better.
Exactly, they thought they were better
Fifteen years of waiting for a child is not a joke, instead of people to support her, they gossiped. It's sad that her best friend became her worst enemy. I'm glad she held on, and now she has two beautiful children. We should never look down or talk badly about someone just because things aren't going right for them.
It's good to have a family supporting one during hard times.