He banged the door in anger, his heart beating fast and his vision turning red. So much rage packed into a 14 year old that he didn't know what to do with it.
He wanted to hit something but he knew he would just hurt himself and whatever he broke he'd have to fix. He wanted to scream but that would just invite them up to his room and would increase the annoyance of the night.
So he came upstairs, walked around a bit, then sat down in silence...
"You're a disgrace. Lazing around, eating my food and money. Just a disgrace..." He heard the voice bounce around in his head, making a fist and biting on it in an act of frustration.
It's not the first time he's gotten abused verbally like this. In fact it has happened so many times that he has lost count and lost the will to try and understand the "why".
He just stood there and took the abuse. "Like a waterfall washing through a rock."
Hard at first but the rock always pushes through...
That's how he always remained stoic when his mother rains insults and his father threatens to hit him.
'This too shall pass'
He says in his mind, knowing that indeed the pain would fade with time... but it leaves its mark.
Today's episode was the worst though.
After serving his father and uncle who came to visit in the morning he ended up leaving late to help at his mom's school.
He knew in his mind that it was another round of shouting, but he didn't know it would get this bad.
"You're always late..." She began as soon as she got home.
"There is no time that you're on time..." "Just late and unreliable."
"I was serving Daddy.." he began explaining...
"You always have an excuse. There's no time when you aren't doing something, forming busy and shit! I'm just so tired of...."
He zoned out here. The rock gets beat by the waterfall. He just looks on sadly, hearing the hateful words she's saying but allowing the voices in his head to be louder than her words entering.
"You're a disgrace, I'm just tired, nothing you've ever done for me.." He heard it all. It hurt. Still he wouldn't show any pain, nor show any anger, especially not the anger building in his heart.
He just stood, stood at attention, stood strong and steadfast, stood like a rock facing a waterfall.
After about a minute she was through, breathing hard and fast. He exhaled too; they've both worn themselves out. Her from screaming, him from trying not to listen.
Like a robot, devoid of emotions, he made his way to the kitchen to start on her food.
"Let Ella do the food , I'm hungry and I don't have time for your sluggishness today..."
Immediately he dropped the spoon and made to leave so his sister Ella could come cook.
"Where do you think you're going?" She asked angrily.
"You better stay in this kitchen and come learn!"
So he stayed in the kitchen and "learned" from his younger sister how to warm the rice and stew that he cooked for them earlier in the morning.
His mother stayed in the kitchen still muttering curses under her breath then left to watch her telenovela.
He and his sister didn't talk although the silence was heavy. He didn't have strength to talk, she didn't want to talk and allow the sound to invite their mother again.
So silently they stayed and he carried the food to go serve her.
"As you're going up, bring your phone. It's your phone that's making you forget yourself and your duties!"
He just sighed and brought it down. He has expected such, that's her trump card and quite frankly the worst and most hurtful thing she could do.
The phone which would help to distract him from the voices in his head. He put it off before handing it to her because people who actually cared about him would text and call when he didn't respond online.
He'd hate for the notification noises to anger her and hate even more for her to unleash that anger on his friends.
He simply dropped the phone on the table in front of her and walked to his room.
In his room now he's back with his thoughts, his head's hurting and his chest is banging.
"You're a disgrace. Lazing around, eating my food and money. Just a disgrace..."
The voices were louder and more violent. The rock may endure the waterfall but that doesn't mean the waterfall doesn't leave its mark.
His eyes somehow strayed at a razor blade on his desk. Used for sharpening the pencil for his art project.
Suddenly there's a new voice...
"Just a cut. A small cut around the wrists and everything would end, you'll have peace."
Slowly he picked up the razor as though in a trance he brought it to his wrist...
"David!" Mummy is calling you!" He looked at the door, hearing his sister Ella calling for him.
Suddenly he looked at the razor in his wrist and realized what he was doing.
Slowly he packed the razor up and kept it away.
He couldn't go now. He was the rock that braced the waterfall.
He took a deep breath and left his room. It might be better tomorrow, it's just a rough day.
He thought to that voice, how strong and enticing it was and shuddered.
"I am a rock. That too shall pass..."
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Back in the day I taught high school social studies. In order to get into that high school a student had to be diagnosed as either depressed or suicidal. So, this story meant something to me.
Thanks @agmoore.
Indeed sometimes one does have to wait patiently and weather the storm.
T'was quite a lot to write this story and a blast into your past is always something I'm eager too read about.
It's been a while since I was active on here.. how've you been?
!PIMP
This story reminded me of how important it is to check on the people who stays quite like they seems to be the strongest but they are also fighting their own storms inside. Well, a small interruption can save a life. Truly moving writing.
Thanks Zoe 😂✨
People really needs to be checked on to avoid stories that touch. I love this write up. Thanks for sharing
Indeed, thanks for reading ✨